I’ve read the opinion before that marriage shouldn’t be work.
That, my friends, is a statement that I call bullshit on. Complete and utter bullshit.
I’m not sure if the people saying that marriage shouldn’t be work are deluded, outright lying, or just have a different definition of work than I do. Whatever the reason, I just can’t agree with that opinion.
Yes, marriage is work. It’s the kind of work, though, that is deeply rewarding and absolutely worth it. Marriage is about being unselfish when sometimes you really just want to be a dick. It’s about sharing the last of the ice cream when you’d prefer to finish it off yourself. It’s about days when you put your spouse’s needs ahead of your own. All of those things, to me, are work — because they require effort. By nature I’m kind of a selfish, self-centered princess.
It’s not all work all the time, of course. There are days, weeks, months, and even years when life is good, and you and your spouse fall into the rhythm of life and everything is great.
The key to a long and happy marriage, I think (besides making sure you don’t marry a douchebag, of course) is having the strength and determination to push through those rough times, those man-this-really-sucks periods of marriage, knowing that things will improve again, given time and effort.
CBG and I are coming out of one of those “man-this-really-sucks” periods right now. We’re both feeling kind of battered and weary from the experience, but the good news is that we’re both also willing to put in the work to get to a sweet spot again. We can see it in the distance, a glowing beacon just out of reach. We just have to keep trudging through the sludge just a little while longer and we’ll get there.
But I gotta say…I’m tired, yo. Good thing I have a partner beside me holding my hand.