So I know that I started off the year posting about how I’d decided that 2016 was going to be the “Year of Joy”. I started off the year feeling fresh and optimistic, ready to tackle the coming year with as much zest for life as I could muster.
Well, now the middle of month has hit, and I feel the need to fess up: I’m struggling. Already. Winter is always a tough time for me, thanks to Seasonal Affective Disorder, but the last few winters have been better. I’ve been taking vitamins, using a UV lamp every day, and getting out to exercise daily. These things have made a marked improvement in my winter state of mind and energy levels. Not perfect, mind you, but noticeably better.
But this week, something changed. I suspect that it’s a number of things: true winter settling in, PMS, a bit of weight gain, frustration over CBG’s continued employment status, and a healthy dose of self-doubt thanks to my still (relatively) new job. Whatever the reasons, this past Monday started off on a bit of a sour note and it’s just been a big struggle to keep myself mentally and emotionally above water since then. Past history has taught me that the best thing for me to do is to just put my head down and let myself feel whatever I’m feeling, do my best to do the things that I know will help me, avoid the things that I know will hurt me, not make any major life decisions, and just wait for it to pass.
Because of course it always does. Past history has also taught me that.
My hope is that I find my way out of this January funk before it drags me too far down. I’ll keep doing the right things and avoiding the wrong things as best I can.
And even though I’m arse-deep in these January blues, I’m already looking forward to feeling better.
Fingers crossed that it doesn’t take too long.