It’s no secret that this winter has been a struggle for me (as all winters are). This year has been the best that I can remember, despite marriage issues and despite this also being the worst winter, weather-wise that I can remember.
The truth is, I’ve been fighting — hard. Fighting against negativity and pessimism. Fighting against the pull into a not-so-great place. Fighting to remember the good stuff and express gratitude for all that I do have. I know that this is an area that I often suck in, so I’ve been particularly mindful of it lately. Especially since CBG flat out told me how negative I was being. Ouch. It hurt to hear, but he was absolutely right.
One of the things that I’d always kept in my personal arsenal of positive mental health is a trusty journal. I was once a dedicated journaler; it helped me get through a number of particularly trying times in my life. But it’s something that has totally fallen by the wayside in the past few years; I simply haven’t made the time or effort to do this small thing for myself.
Back in January I decided that I would start making an effort to journal once again. I bought myself a notebook and I started writing. As I wrote, I forgot about the sweet mental and emotional release that journaling can provide. I wrote until I felt completely emptied out, just like in the old days. Expressing myself through the written word has always been my most effective way of communication.
Since then, I’ve been making an effort to take some time once or twice a week to spill my thoughts and feelings on paper in my old-school journal notebook. It helps me to organize my thoughts, get in touch with my feelings, and just express whatever demands to be expressed in a safe place. No fear, no judgment, no holding back.
In a lot of ways, it’s a relief to go back there. Back to basics, back to something that was once a huge part of cultivating my own mental and emotional health. I’m not sure why I ever stopped to begin with, but now that I’ve gone back, I plan on sticking here for a good long while. It may not fix all of my issues, but it sure as hell helps.