In the interests of full disclosure I’m going to straight-up admit that I’m feeling pretty negative today.
There are many reasons for this. It’s been a busy week at work. It will continue to be a busy week at work. We’re in the dead of winter. It’s been brutally cold. CBG continues to struggle with his own issues, which naturally affect me.
I’ve tried to dig deep. I’ve given myself pep talk after pep talk. I’ve been frantically searching for the good in things. I’ve been making every effort to take good care of myself.
But today? Today it feels like none of that really means a damn. I’m feeling pulled under — by work, by life, by my marriage. I’m not sure that all the pep talks in the world can save me at this point. I’m past the pep talk stage. I’m at the “I give up stage”.
Truth is — I’m exhausted. All I want is for someone to take care of me for a little while. It feels like I’ve been the one doing all the caretaking lately. And I am worn out.
And this? This I don’t know how to fix.