The Quiet

I’ve noticed that I haven’t had nearly enough opportunity to just be quiet lately. Life is so busy — too busy, for the most part, and the result is that I just don’t have the time to slow down and just sit quietly with myself and my thoughts.

Or rather, I guess don’t make the time is a more accurate statement.

It used to be that I had so much more opportunity for quiet than I do currently. Before CBG moved here, on the nights that the girls were with their dad, I had plenty of evenings where I would just sit in the quiet with my thoughts. I would listen to music. I would blog or do other writing. I would sometimes take hot baths. There was no one else that I needed to be considerate of, or communicate to.

Back in those days I would also do lots of walking, mainly to and from work every day, and even sometimes over my lunch break. Those walks gave me plenty of time to sort through plenty of mental and emotional garbage. Now CBG and I commute to work together, and many of our lunch hours are spent together. I’m also guilty of allowing technology to suck away some of my quiet time, too; moments when I could be sitting quietly I’m on my phone, checking social media like an addict.

Don’t get me wrong — this isn’t a, “I don’t love all the time I’m spending with my husband” kind of post. This isn’t about that at all. The problem here is that I haven’t been spending enough time with just myself. As I result I’ve been feeling stressed. Mentally and emotionally disorganized. Out of touch with my thoughts and feelings. Distracted. Uninspired. Sluggish.

And just a wee little bit lost.

I know the answer: find ways to build The Quiet into life as it is now. Make time for me. Sit and listen to my thoughts and pay attention to all those emotions stirring up around inside of me. We all know, however, that this is easier said than done in a life full 0f work, errands, housework, homework, child rearing and marriage. It’s that old never-ending cycle: If I had some time to sit down and be quiet with myself, I’d likely find ways to build more quiet into my life. Yet there’s not enough quiet to be able to find more quiet.

Irony is an asshole.

The Quiet is where I re-charge my batteries. It’s where I find focus and inspiration. It’s where I solve problems and answer questions. It’s where I hear that small voice in the back of my brain that provides me direction at the most unexpected of times. The Quiet allows me to get mentally, emotionally and spiritually organized.

I need to find The Quiet again. I need to intentionally build those moments into my regular routine. Time set aside to enjoy The Quiet, without distractions and without pressure or expectations to just be. To listen to my thoughts, check in with my emotional self. Turn everything else off — worries, to-do lists, social media updates, and just breathe in The Quiet.

It’s exactly what I need right now.



4 Responses

  1. I cherish my alone time, my ME time, all of that so much! it helps quiet my mind too. I hope you find that again too. it is centering, isn’t it?

    • I used to be a whole lot better at getting me time than I have been lately. I’ve been running — a lot — and usually that counts, but lately I’ve been so scattered and stressed out with life, the running just isn’t enough. And you’re right — it is centering. I need more! 🙂

  2. Have you thought about putting it on your calendar..or on your phone calendar with a reminder notification? Do you still live close enough to work to walk there? Maybe you could still do that one or two days a week. 🙂

    • I do still live close enough to work to walk, and I’m thinking that walking even once or twice a week might provide me with some of that much needed quiet. 🙂 And writing “me time” into my calendar might help me, too. Thanks for the suggestion.

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