I’ve written recently about CBG and I have been going through a bit of a “low period” together lately. I don’t even know if “low period” is really an apt description; it’s one of those things that has been difficult to define.
We’ve just lost a bit of the spark we once had. And I’m not even just talking about that old “marital spark” either (though that’s certainly part of it). I’m actually talking about life in general. We’ve been allowing life to…wear us down. Just a little bit. We’ve been so caught up in the details and obligations of life, that we’ve allowed certain things to fall by the wayside. Things that not so long ago, played a much bigger role in our lives.
We’ve been just going through the motions in a lot of areas, allowing the practical, un-fun, un-passionate parts of life become bigger than they need to be. To the point where we often find ourselves so worn out at the end of the day, or week, that we just don’t have the time or the energy for The Stuff That Truly Matters.
And I’ll be honest, this is not the life that I want. I don’t want to be one of those people who just goes through the motions of life, with only the smallest glimpses of fun and passion. Because honestly, it’s not like I have huge, unrealistic expectations. I want a life that includes daily laughter. Fun experiences. The occasional adventure and memorable moments. I want to formulate goals and work to achieve them. I want to inspire others, if even in just a small way. I want to embrace creativity. I want the kind of contentment that comes from doing good and loving others. From challenging myself in all ways.
These are not impossible goals. But they were quickly becoming impossible if CBG and I stay on the path that we’ve started down. A path that places a little too much importance on things we “should” do. A path that requires so much mental and emotional energy that there’s not enough left for all the other stuff. The Stuff That Truly Matters. Because sure, having a clean bathroom is great and all, but I’m not going to remember all those times that the bathroom was completely spotless and there weren’t any dirty dishes in the sink. What I will remember are the adventures that were had, the joy that was felt, and the zest for life that my husband and I continued to cultivate throughout our lives.
From here on in, I vow to seek out passion, inspiration, joy, creativity and spontaneity wherever possible, and be just enough of a responsible grown up to take care of the important stuff, and remain a curious, enthusiastic kid at heart for everything else.
Because life is too short to spend it constantly cleaning the bathroom. After all, it’s only going to get dirty again.