I’ve noticed that often in life there are certain themes that seem to emerge. Lately the theme that has appeared on the horizon, loud and clear is acceptance. It’s a theme that both CBG and I are noticing in our lives currently. We have certain people that are causing difficulty, for one reason or another. In all cases we’re in situations where we’re forced to deal with these individuals, like it or not.

And its tough, yo.

It’s really easy to allow situations like these to wear us down. To push back against these people and their ways to the point that it causes frustration and downright heartache. I think that the most important lesson that CBG and I need to learn right now is that we can’t change other people.

Pretty basic, right? But how much emotional energy have we all spent, pushing back against people, desperately wanting them to see things our way, to change their perception or their way of thinking or way of doing things? I’ve beat my head up against many a wall in my day for this very reason. And yet, in most cases, it’s utterly useless to expect (or even hope) for someone else to change. Because there are many people who will never change. They are stuck in their ways. They are only capable to seeing things from their own perspective. Wishing for something different is pointless.

And so, the lesson here is to accept those around us for who and what they are. That doesn’t mean we have to be happy about it, but it does mean that we need to find a way to learn to live with it. Realistically, the only people that we can change are ourselves. So if there is a person or a situation causing grief and undue stress then only WE can do something about it.

I know what you’re likely thinking. “What if this is a person or a situation that I can’t escape right now?” Honestly, both CBG and I are in that position right now, with the various difficult people in our lives. The only thing I have to offer is this — if the person or situation can’t be avoided, then we must change our attitude. It’s all that we’re left with, really. We have the choice about whether or not we allow another person to get under our skin. And if we try really, really hard then we can make the choice to just let go of the frustration and anger and wishing for this person to be something or someone different.

That’s exactly what acceptance is all about it.




….but that sure as hell doesn’t make it any easier.

4 Responses

  1. I fight myself on this too – trying to change others, the situation, whatever it may be, with my fix, fix, fix mentality. Sometimes, stuff can’t be fixed or controlled, as much as I’d like it to be, and learning that is helping me let go of some of these frustrated feelings. I totally get this.

  2. I’m a fixer, too. And an “I know what’s best” person. But I had to “accept” my sister’s bad decisions & lifestyle (not terrible, just could be better). Since I did, I’m not nearly as exhausted when I’m around her. It hasn’t been easy, but it is definately easier now. Hang in there, I hope ya’ll find the acceptance you need for your hearts. xoxo

  3. Very well put.

  4. I recently wrote something on my facebook about this. That I need to learn to accept the things that I cannot change because there are some things that are just out of our control.

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