This week was my giant reminder that no matter what struggles CBG and I encounter, no matter what bullshit we need to wade through, he loves me in exactly the way I want and need to be loved.
And oh how I am loved.
Yesterday, on my thirty-tenth birthday, CBG took the day off work to run errands and make preparations for a Ryan Gosling themed surprise birthday party. I came home to presents, decorations, and photos of my boyfriend, Mr. Gosling, all over the house.
My husband truly out-did himself.
And then our friends started showing up. It was a small affair, truly people that I love most in this world. At one point in the evening I looked around the room, surrounded by so much friendship and love and realized that all the people there were friends that have come into my life in the last five years, CBG included. These last five years have been a time of huge transformation and self-discovery. I’ve learned the true meaning of friendship and what it means to be loved unconditionally and to love unconditionally right back.
Five years ago my life looked very different than it does today. In a lot of ways, I had truly lost hope that I was ever going to find genuine happiness ever again. I had almost given up on it all — most of all, I’d almost given up on myself.
And now, five years later, I have more than I ever wanted and more. I have things I didn’t even know I wanted, until I had them. I have some of the most lovely people in my life — people that, had life not changed for me so dramatically, I never would have in my life right now. People that I love and respect and enjoy being around. People who have shown me what friendship really is. People who make me laugh. Who challenge me to be better. Sometimes in the same moment. People I can count on to both show up at birthday BBQ and be there for me when I need it.
I am so very, very blessed. For my husband. My girls. My friends and my family.
Life is wonderful.