I’ve been a blogger for a lot of years now. Even before this particular blog, I had others. One that I started in early days of my relationship with CBG (permanently deleted now) and others even earlier than that, when my girls were practically babies and I was a struggling stay-at-home mom.
So for the past 8-ish years now, I’ve been a blogger. I consider it an important part of who I am as a person. I’ve been writing it all down, sharing my stories, my thoughts, my random ramblings. Less these past couple of years — the busy-ness of life has been a big barrier to that, naturally, and really just the general decline of blogging by pretty much everyone. I do miss our former “blogging community”, full of friendship and caring and sharing in each other’s lives. Though I still keep in touch with many of these people, and will consider some of them lifelong friends, our “community” has all but completely dwindled away
Lately I’ve found myself feeling a little nostalgic and I’ve been going through and reading some of my old blog posts. Posts from when CBG and I got back together after our breakup back in the early days. Posts after we’d gotten back together, from when I spent far too much time pining away, missing him, wondering if we’d ever be able to keep doing the whole long distance relationship thing. Posts that chronicled funny little stories about my girls or lovely moments as a mom. It’s all there for me to read and re-read as I want.
Going back over those old blog posts showed me how far I’ve come — as a mother, in my relationship with CBG, in my self-confidence and self-perception, and just as a person in general. These entries are a diary of this time in my life, and reading back over everything I found myself filled with a deep gratitude — to myself — for having taken the time to write everything down and preserve it.
As I read over those posts I was impressed with my own ability to observe myself and the world around me and just plain figure shit out. Many posts made me smile big as I re-lived moments with CBG that might have otherwise slipped from my memory. Comments from others — those in that community of bloggers that I mentioned earlier — provided support, food for thought, and sometimes even a little giggle.
I’ll always be glad that I’ve got it all right here.