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Betwixt

lefurgey-199My oldest daughter, Kiddo, is at a magical age right now.

I’ve noticed a transition in her lately. Changing.

She is growing from little girl to woman, right before my eyes. This being that I created, carried inside my body for nine months. A human that I brought into this world, that I have loved and protected and nurtured and taught for almost 11 years now. Every single day she loosens from my grip ever so slightly. Each day on its own the movement is imperceptible; it is not until I stop to look back every now and again do I see how much further away she is from me than she was just a few short months ago.

This is our deal as parents. We knew this coming into this gig. We bring these magical creatures into the world to love and teach and hold close to us, knowing that some day they will leave us. If we’ve done our job well, they will head out into the world knowledgeable, happy, confident, talented.

Kiddo is at this special age of in-between. Not yet woman, not quite a little girl. She is longing to be older, to be part of everything that growing up entails. And yet, there is still that part of her that is very much a little girl. She is at the age of both lip gloss and dolls. She moves between the two worlds effortlessly; getting make-up lessons from me in the morning, but playing dolls with her sister in the afternoon, snuggling on my lap in the evening, and then staying up late texting with her friends later that night.

We are at that special place that she still hasn’t figured out how flawed I really am. I am currently still one of the coolest people she knows. I am her strongest example of what it means to be a woman. She comes to me for lessons on life and love and eye makeup. She drinks in what I tell her. To her, I am still wonderful and lovely and one of her most favourite people in the whole world. She still loves to hold my hand when we walk places and snuggle on the couch with me when we’re watching movies together. She longs for her independence yet still longs for the comfort and safety of my lap.

I know that this won’t last. Like every other part of growing up, this stage of life will fade away, too, just like all of the others. But unlike some of the earlier phases of her life, this is one that I won’t wish away or be in a hurry to see pass. I will drink it all in, and hug her as close to me as I can…for as absolutely long as I can.

decision to have a child

2 Responses

  1. This was beautiful. Tears were starting to brim. What they say about your children being your heart walking around outside your body is true. I hope this special bond you have now is always as precious to her as it is now.

  2. OMG yes. Exactly, my friend.

    xxoo

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