Bedtime Moments

When you’re in a blended family there are a whole different set of concerns than when you’re in a ‘traditional’ family. The relationship complexities and balancing act that is sometimes required can be downright exhausting. I know that we are luckier than some blended families; we have good, solid, loving relationships and we all work to maintain and grow them. The love is there, and it’s clear to all of us.
Still, it’s easy for insecurities to creep in. I know that CBG sometimes struggles with this in terms of his relationship with my girls. Their relationship didn’t come automatically; it took time and effort on everyone’s part for the love to develop and grow. And even now, after five years of us being together, I know that he sometimes experiences self-doubt.
On Sunday night I found myself doing school night bedtime tuck in by myself for the first time in a very long time. CBG had gone away to spend the weekend with Ankle Biter, as he does every two weeks, and because of the rotten weather he hadn’t returned home yet.
The girls and I were all worried about him making the 200km trip home on terrible roads. Me more than them, I think, just simply due to the fact that my adult brain had entertained all of the terrible possibilities. Still, I put that aside so that I could tuck the girls into bed.
Little Mo got her hug and kiss and nuzzle first. I assured her that CBG would be home by the time she woke up in the morning. I turned to leave her room.
“Mommy?”
 
“Yes, honey?”
“When he gets home, tell him I love him.”
 
 Next I went to Kiddo’s room. She’d been feeling rotten all evening, a sore throat indicating that maybe she was coming down with something. She was tired and in need of some extra attention. I crawled into bed and snuggled beside her, stroking her hair in the dark.
I thought about a conversation that CBG and I had earlier in the day. He was feeling bad about an argument that we’d had that week, and was worried that Kiddo (who had overheard us) might worry that he was upset with her. He wanted her to know that wasn’t the case.
As we were laying in bed talking, I mentioned what CBG had said. I try my best to be as open and honest as possible with my girls, and so in the course of the conversation, I mentioned that CBG sometimes worries about being a “good enough” stepdad.
Kiddo took a deep breath. “Oh Mommy, he is WAY better than just ‘good enough’.”
Blended families…not always easy, but in our case, definitely worth it.
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