Today I bumped into an old friend that I haven’t seen in quite some time. We used to see each other fairly regularly, but life has just gotten in the way for both of us. We’re still always glad to see one another, even if it happens infrequently.
Today she saw me walking back to work after an appointment and offered me a lift, which I gratefully accepted. I always did like her, and we hadn’t seen in each other in a good long while. When I got in the car and asked her what’s was up with her, she started talking, filling me in on her life.
It was horrifying.
She (a single mom) and her daughter are going through what is possibly the worst things a family could be going through. The more she talked, the more things that were revealed, the more horrifying it was. The more my heart filled with sorrow and the more my eyes filled with tears. When we arrived at my workplace she parked and turned off the car and we sat there for a good 45 minutes, talking. I went back to work, tears still in my eyes, in a state of shock. Hours later it’s still all that I can think about.
I’ve been struggling lately, as I’ve written about. Hearing my friend’s story reminded me that I have so many things in my life to be grateful for, goddammit. That there are so many horrifying, terrible things happening to people all around me. All the goddamn time. And that instead of thinking about all the things that are wrong, or imperfect, or even kind of shitty, that kind of shitty is easily managable when you consider the alternatives that some people are being forced to endure. Screw you, you Universe. These people don’t deserve this.
You know what? NO ONE deserves this. Ever.
And now, here I am. Still shocked, saddened, and horrified by what my friend is experiencing. Wishing that there was something that I could do to help, but knowing that really, there is nothing that I can do. This is way too big for hugs or words of support.
But still…that is what I gave her. Words of support. Sharing how I could relate on a smaller scale. At the end of the conversation, I gave her a hug and told her that if she needed anything, anything at all, to please, please, please let me know.
I only wish that I had more to give.