Stepmom

stepmomCBG’s daughter, Rugrat, arrives today. She’ll be here until after the wedding, at least 6 weeks or so. This is the longest visit she’s had with us yet.

And I’ll be honest, I’m a little bit nervous about it.

It was actually my idea to have her here for an extended summer visit this year. It’s the first summer that CBG and I have lived together since he moved here last fall, and I thought that this would be a great opportunity for Rugrat to be here to enjoy some family time with all us for longer than just a week or two, which is what normally happens. My girls adore her, and I’ve been looking forward to bonding with her a bit more than I’ve been able to in the past.

The last few days it’s all been sinking in, though. For the next six weeks I’m going to be a full-time stepmom. CBG and I are going to be parenting full-time together; something that we’ve never done for more than a week or so at a time in the past. And not just any kind of parenting, either — but full-time  parenting of a teenage girl that we don’t see for long stretches of time.

So yeah. It’s a little bit intimidating right now. Especially since her mother recently informed us that we’re in a for a few surprises and challenges.

I have a lot of confidence in CBG and I, and our ability to make it through whatever life happens to throw our way. We have a pretty damned good track record with this kind of thing. Sure, I’m expecting some tension, possibly an argument or two, but we’ll work it out like we always do, and come out on the other side stronger for it. Past experiences have taught me that.

But in the meantime, I’m trying to brace myself for what’s possibly in store: a lack of privacy, adjusting to another person living in our (tiny) house, full-time parenting, sibling struggles, compromise, and teenage angst. All of that thrown into a stew that also includes work stress x 2, wedding planning stress, and regular life “stuff”. Could make for some interesting times. Blended family? Hells yeah.

I just keep telling myself that it’s experiences like this that make us better parents, a better couple, and better people in general.

I hope I’m up to the challenge of being Stepmom for the summer.

2 Responses

  1. Ok, first of all, you and CBG need to agree on some rules, expectations, guidelines, enforcement and discipline. You were both teenagers before. Establish guidelines that you BOTH agree to. Then, sit down with her, alone and then with your daughters, and give her your rules and expectations. Treat her as you would treat your own daughters. Let her know that you will have each others’ back on the enforcement and discipline of the rules.

    When she starts to stray outside the lines (and she will), gently let her know that she’s doing that. She may not be aware or she may just not be thinking. Don’t take it personally. Neither of you. Offer her love.

    Discuss. Learn. Discuss some more.

    I really think kids are okay when you let them know what you expect from them. As a teen, she may have a few expectations of her own. Allow her to voice them. Meet her in the middle on some, if you can.

    Y’all got this. Breathe, momma.

    xxoo

  2. You’ll do great. That you’re even thinking about how you’re gonna do, means you’ll probably e extra thoughtful about how you parent. Good luck!

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