Channing Tatum is the Sexiest Man Alive?

(No, the question mark isn’t an error. I typed that question mark with conviction and I stand by it, dammit).
Channing Tatum as Magic Mike

Meh.

I read the headline last week and saw that Channing Tatum was named People’s Sexiest Man Alive in 2012. And I thought to myself, “Self, People Magazine has once again, demonstrated just how much it sucks.” I just honestly don’t get the whole Channing Tatum thing. Dear Mr. Tatum: I’m just not that into you. Now hold up. Before any of you out there go revoking my woman card, just hear me out, would ya?
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I know….I know. I’m sure that many of you reading this right now are seriously questioning my sexuality at the moment. Let me assure you, however, that I do love me a fine male specimen. Though I do admittedly have a few girl crushes (I’d give my right ovary to be the jam in a Pink and Jillian Michaels sandwich, for example. And for those of you wondering, in that particular sandwich scenario, CBG would be the pickle on the side. heh.). However, for the most part I’m just as interested in men as the next red-blooded thirty-something mostly heterosexual woman. Likely even more. Just ask CBG. heh.
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There are plenty of celebrity men out there that I enjoy ogling (and commenting loudly about). You can also ask CBG to confirm that one. I’m sure he could name my celebrity fantasy crushes almost as easily as I can. It’s just that Channing Tatum doesn’t happen to be one of them. Dear Channing: I’m just not that into you.
I still have not watched ‘Magic Mike’ — it’s just not my bag, Mr. Tatum aside. I went to a Chippendales performance once back in 1992.

Really? We didn’t know?

Spent the whole time laughing my guts out, particularly at one of the chicks who went with us, dressed to the nines in her electric-blue faux satin skin tight mini dress with her teased up early 90s bang,s not-so-secretly hoping that she’d be going back to the hotel with one of them for more than pedicures and fashion tips. She was 18. Cut her a little slack, would ya? Back in 1992 most of us still thought that George Michael was straight. So much for gaydar. It’s a learned skill, amiright?

If I were queen of the world (and someday I will be, my pretties), then I’m pretty sure that Ryan Gosling would have been named sexiest man alive. Hopefully, being robbed of the title this year means that it’s on the horizon for 2013. Because honestly, if he doesn’t win it soon, I’m pretty sure that I’m going to have to stop reading People Magazine while I’m waiting in line at the grocery store.

Team Gosling all the way!!

But seriously, all joking aside, I’ll be a total sap and admit that even with all the ogling that I do, there’s one clear winner for me in the “Sexiest Man Alive” competition.

Though for the record, I prefer him bald than with the George Clooney hair.

And lucky me, he’s all mine.

4 Responses

  1. Like I didn’t see THAT coming! LOL! But I have to agree on the Tatum thing.. just not my style…

  2. Glad to hear I’m not the only one who was disappointed in the Channing Tatum pick! He may have a ripped body, but I just don’t think he is handsome. (And I did see MAGIC MIKE.) I agree with you 100% on Ryan Gosling!

  3. Totally 100% agree with you – on both Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling. 🙂 And CBG ain’t half bad either!

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