Halloween Night With Me, My Girls, My Fiance and My Ex Husband

Halloween night ended up being a lot of fun for my girls. Sure it was a bit wet, but the rain held off for most of the evening to allow for some good quality trick-or-treating.

Since it was my and CBG’s night to have the girls, we’ve been planning for a good long while the fun we would have, taking the girls out for some Halloween fun. It was a couple of weeks ago when my ex informed me that he would be joining us for the evening as well. In the past we’ve always both gone trick-or-treating with the girls, despite whose “night” it was to have them. It’s just what we did. Of course, the big difference was that other years, CBG was always three hours away, doing his own Halloween thing, either with Ankle Biter or without.

When CBG heard that my ex would be there, he wasn’t exactly thrilled. He decided that instead he would stay home alone to hand out treats to the neighbourhood kids. I, however, did what I always do in situations like this: I decided to ask my girls.

Their answer was that of course they wanted all three of us there. After all, we are the three primary adults in their lives. They absolutely wanted CBG to share in one of their favourite nights of the year. And because he is absolutely awesome and because he loves my girls like crazy, CBG agreed to come along.

Of course he wasn’t happy about it. Of course he would have much preferred to stay at home alone. But he didn’t. He slapped on a smile for those girls so he could share in their fun and happiness.

And you know what? It didn’t suck. My ex was chatty, friendly, and agreeable. If only he could be like this all the time, we would never have an issue. He and CBG chatted, joked, and even shared a laugh at my expense. It was all oddly friendly. To the point where, later that evening at home as I was helping Kiddo take off her make up she mentioned something to me.

“Daddy and CBG really got along well tonight.” She said.

“Yes, they did. But don’t they always?” (After all, she’s seen them together at several past birthday parties).

“Well….yeah. But this was different. I was thinking about how it might be kind of awkward for the two of them. Y’know…since you and Daddy used to be in a relationship, and now you and CBG are in a relationship.”

That kid is too damn smart. Seriously.

“Maybe they’ll even be friends…you know…because they have a lot of things in common.”

Smart, yeah. But still with a nine year old’s innocent optimism.

“Well, they have one very important thing in common.” I told her.

“Oh! They both loved you.” She was smiling.

“Well, yes,” I told her, “but there’s something even more important than that.”

She thought about it for a split second. “They both love me and Lil’ Mo.”

Bingo.

Last night I fell in love with CBG just a little bit more as he put aside his own discomfort in order to be there for my girls — our girls. Kiddo in particular has a good, longย  memory, and I know that she will remember the first year that we all went trick-or-treating together. Both of those girls will remember all the birthday parties when we were all there together, smiling and getting along and being pleasant for their sake. And though this may seem like just another occasion now while they’re young, some day — likely when they’re much, much older — they will appreciate what CBG did — what we all did — in order to ensure that they always knew how loved and special and important they are: to all of us.

And this, my friends, is what an awesome step dad and an awesome partner does.

Halloween 2012: Making memories.

4 Responses

  1. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! YAY!!! I love this! It made me tear up a bit to read your conversation with your daughter. It sounded exactly like what I’d hear at my house too. ๐Ÿ™‚

    So glad it was a great night for all!

    xxoo

  2. awww!!I Love this and SO smart your girls are. Very perceptive ๐Ÿ™‚ Glad CBG obliged, as I knew he would ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. CBG is a good man. And I’m glad your ex was able to put on a friendly face, too. As a (single) father, it always annoys me to hear stories where the men in their children’s lives don’t man up. But then I hear stories like this, and I am reassured that there are still good guys out there. Pure win.

    • You know…it WAS a win. And as much as my ex and I have our own issues between the two of us, he is always able to “man up” and get along in front of the girls, which ultimately, is the important part. I’m glad that they’re going to have lots of happy family memories even though he and I aren’t together anymore.

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