Mirage

On Sunday the girls spent the day (and night) with CBG and I. We had a belated “Father’s Day” celebration for him. We had a nice dinner, went to the movies, and had cards and a little gift for him. It was a nice day full of closeness, laughter and fun.

When the girls headed off to bed on Sunday night, they knew that CBG would be gone in the morning when they got up. They gave their hugs and kisses and said their goodbyes on the way to bed.

As is usual for a Monday morning after a CBG weekend, the alarm went off at 5:00 am. CBG grabbed the last of things, kissed me goodbye, and was out the door by about 5:15. Normally on these mornings I go for a nice long run, but since the girls were with me this time, I was unable to do that. I headed back to my bedroom and crawled back into my cold and lonely bed.

It’s always a strange experience to wake up again, cold and alone after CBG has left. The whole weekend feels almost like a dream…like CBG isn’t even real, but more a figment of my imagination….a mirage.

Eventually I peeled myself out of bed and woke up the girls. Kiddo was the first one up.She was still rubbing the sleep from her eyes and declared, “I’m sad. I miss CBG.”

Her sister wasn’t far behind her. A moment or two later she emerged from their bedroom. “I miss CBG.” She told me.

It was the first time they’ve ever experienced the loneliness of having him gone in the morning like that. It’s that way that he has of filling up a room that makes it feel extra empty after he’s gone. It’s like there’s this CBG-shaped hole in house…and in our hearts.

Hopefully there won’t be many more mornings like these in our future.

One Response

  1. My girls do the same thing after the boys leave. It’s awesome that they’re loved so much but so sad that they hurt like I do.

    Still so excited for you both! It’ll be here before you know it!

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