The other night I got looking through some old posts from a blog that I kept what seemed like a million years ago. It was, in fact, only 3-4 years ago, but so much has happened since then that I feel like an entirely different person.
I came across a post where I wrote about CBG for one of the very first times. It was before we had met in person, during those few weeks after our initial meeting, but before we’d ever been in the same room together. I smiled when I read my words, realizing that even in 3 1/2 years, though our love has grown exponentially, deepened more than I ever imagined and matured into the healthiest relationship I’ve ever known, some things have remained constant from the very beginning.
Here is an excerpt of what I wrote:
“When we “chat” [online], together the two of us are “larger than life”, “over the top”…loving life and having fun together….totally playing off one another, absorbing each other’s positive energy and each of us creating more of our own. We have a great energy together. [CBG] reminds me of all the things that I like about myself, and gives me the opportunity to let those parts out to “play” in the world.”
The same holds true today. We still have that same great energy. We still play off each other like two crazy kids in love. And he still reminds me of all those things that I like AND love about myself. He is a mirror that shows me exactly who I am – without judgment. And I absolutely love the person that I see, both for my weaknesses as well as my strengths. And even though I know that I have myself to thank for much of that — for all of the hard work I’ve done over the past four years or so, I have CBG to thank for really getting the ball rolling in the right direction, and for showing me the truth of who I am.
CBG…the man who loves me for exactly who I am, flaws and all. The man gives me space to make mistakes and learn from them, as well as reassurance when I need it most.
The man I love…the man I have loved since the very beginning.