Struttin’ My Stuff

Yesterday I had an opportunity to spend some rare one-on-one time with Kiddo. We were walking along together, holding hands, talking, joking, laughing. I said something (I can’t remember now what it is) and Kiddo said to me, “Mommy, you’re so weird and funny.”

She then looked thoughtful for a moment. She said, “You know, before you met CBG, you were kind of like a pigeon…still really awesome, but kind of quiet and dull. But now…you’re like a peacock, showing off your colours and struttin’ your stuff.”

I thought about this as the evening wore on, and realized how true her statement was. It used to be that my awesomeness only came out every now and again, if the conditions were just right. These days, my awesomeness is more the rule, rather than the exception. Don’t hate on me people, I’m just tellin’ it like it is.

CBG understands me better than anyone ever has. He “gets” me. He encourages me to be who I am, without pressuring me to be something that he wants me to be. He’s like a dash of salt on a good meal — he makes my flavours pop. He doesn’t make me awesome, he allows me to be awesome. With him, I feel happier, freer, more badass, more confident, more fun and more “me” than I ever have. I may not be perfect, but dammit, I’m a helluva lot closer than I was three years ago, that’s for sure. And I’m only getting better.

And you know what? That’s a damn good feeling.

10 Responses

  1. Love that!

  2. Your daughter is SO freakin’ insightful! I love her reference to the pigeon vs. peacock, how cool is she?? I really love that CBG has helped you to find your inner awesome and let her out to play — isn’t it amazing when you finally meet your “true” other half and it’s through him that you really find your “true” self that was lurking in the background the entire time? I feel that way about my husband — he encourages me to be the goofy, carefree, giggly, happy and confident woman I am today. He used to tease me endlessly about how I’d never smile (at him, or in general) before we started dating. He’d catch flashes of a smile from me on rare occasion and he always wondered why I didn’t smile and show joy more often. Now, almost 8 years into our marriage and 10 years into our relationship, and to find me NOT smiling would be odd. I’m my best version of myself since meeting him and recognizing my own ‘inner awesome.’ I LOVE that CBG is that for you! 🙂

  3. What a smart daughter you have! Man, you and T and your girls, are just ON with their observations!! I totally see this in you both, you are, as Jess said, the best versions of yourselves and continually growing and learning and loving and living. It’s the best feeling in the world, isn’t it?

    • The day my daughter realizes she’s smarter than me is the day I’m totally screwed. lol She’s a thoughtful one, that Kiddo.

      And this feeling…the way I feel with CBG is how I’ve always wanted to feel. I’ve only ever had glimpses of it before, but now that I actually am this person, it’s an amazing feeling.

  4. The salt on a meal… allowing your flavors to pop. What a great analogy! I love this post. How blessed are you?!?

    (And it sounds like our daughters could teach the world a thing or two! 😉 )

  5. I agree that feeling is awesome. You rock.

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