I didn’t start out believing in “the family bed” with my daughters but it soon became apparent that this was going to be the lifestyle for me. I remember early conversations with my ex (when pregnant) about how we’d planned to never let our children into our bed; that we were going to maintain some boundaries and demand that we have that space of our own.
And then Kiddo was born. And she slept in the hospital bed with me on the very first night. Because she needed that contact and comfort and I was too tired to do anything but whatever would guarantee me sleep.
And thus, a co-sleeping family was born.
We shared the bed with both of our daughters when they were little. When Lil’ Mo came along we didn’t have room for the two of them at the same time, and so Kiddo would sleep in a little make shift bed on the floor beside the big bed so at least we were still all together in the same room.
By the time I moved out of my ex’s home, my girls were three and five and for the most part they were spending almost every night in their own beds. The exception was when they were sick and/or if they’d had a nightmare. When we got into our own place, Lil’ Mo seemed to regress a bit and wanted to be in my bed fairly often. I suspect she needed the extra comfort and reassurance, and I really had no problem with providing it to her in that way. Eventually she returned to sleeping in her own bed most nights once again.
Recently my girls have taken to being back in my bed again. I’m not sure exactly what’s behind it, but on the nights they’re with me, they’ve been taking turns sleeping in my bed with me. And honestly, I have to admit that I like it. I still have my nights when they’re with their dad to enjoy the bed all to myself, so when they’re there, it’s like a comfort to me. I find myself missing CBG a lot lately, missing having a warm body beside me, missing that intimate contact of sleeping next to another human being. In general I am alone likely more than I should be. Who knows…maybe they’re there because they can sense on some level, that I need the comfort.
Last night, exhausted, I came into my room and slipped between the sheets. Kiddo was in my bed, sleeping quietly. I snuggled up to her warmth, drinking in her scent. I was struck for a moment how fleeting this time is. In the blink of an eye my girls will be young women and snuggly nights like this won’t be happening anymore. And I know that I will miss it. So for now, whatever the reason that has brought them back to sleeping in my bed, I will enjoy it, for however long it lasts.