Confessions of a Reluctant Yogi

On Wednesday night I went to a yoga class for the first time in a couple of months. I love yoga and would love to be able to go to a class on a regular basis, but life in the last several months has really gotten in the way of that. There are great prices on yoga wear, so
I’m hoping to turn things around and get there more often, because it really does wonders for me — physically, mentally and emotionally.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the greatest yogi on the planet. I struggle with the physical aspect (my muscles are extra tight because of stress, running and my unfortunate genetic makeup — thanks again for the ‘lumberjack limbs’, Dad) and I struggle with the mental aspect as well (hello “Monkey Mind”). It feels like a cruel joke from Mother Nature that I’m stuck wrestling with both the physical and mental parts of yoga.

And yet, I still love it. I love challenging both my body and my mind, even though I feel like I’m always fighting to keep up. I love the relaxed high that I feel at the end of class. I love the soreness that I feel the next day when I haven’t been to class in a long time (like this week!)

But there is one particular pose that I struggle with more than others. Pigeon pose.

This pose is a hip-opener, and apparently that’s where I carry a great deal of my mental, emotional and physical stress. It never fails that 30 seconds into pigeon pose, my hips and my heart are both on fire. Pigeon pose pokes me directly in my anger trigger very single time. The longer I stay in the pose, the angrier I become. Leave me in pigeon pose for longer than a couple of minutes and I’m ready to punch the instructor square in the face.

Yeah I know. Not very Zen of me, huh?

I know this means that I need to practice this pose more often, not less…that pigeon pose will likely help me to access deeply-buried emotions that need to come to the surface and be dealt with. But to that, I say: fuck you.

Remember paragraph two? Yeah…that’s the part where I wrote about being a less than perfect yogi.

Screw you, pigeon pose. SCREW YOU.

12 Responses

  1. Ha! See, I love pigeon pose even though it hurts because my hips are WICKED tight too…and I cannot go as far to the ground as the chick in that picture, but after I always feel better. But give me downward dog and I get downright PISSED. I hate that one! Good for you for working on your inner yogi 😉

    • See, now I love downward dog, even though my hammies are always SUPER tight. I feel so good stretching them out. Pigeon just makes me cranky!

      And the thing about yoga is that I always feel GREAT afterwards, even if I don’t necessarily perform that well during the class…

  2. I only tried yoga 2-3 times and came away with the idea that I am the worst person at yoga in the world. haha

    • Well, I don’t really think that there are any natural born yogis out there. The idea is that it’s supposed to challenge us on some level, I guess. But I know that feeling, and I have days when I feel like I’m the absolute WORST yogi on the planet, too. 😉

  3. HAHA I love the big f/u to pigeon pose! I have to say, I love that one, like Jo said, because it helps stretch my frickin’ tight ass hips but what hurts more than that one? Just the regular ‘ol hip flexor stretch (for runners) that you see all the time. My hips hate me, I’m convinced. That and my hammies that are so tight ALL THE TIME no matter what I do. I guess if I stopped running I’d have no problem at all. but then, I’d miss running and that’d be a problem too. Such first world problems, huh? 😉

    • My hips and hammies are SUPER tight all the time, too. My tight hips are what convince me that I NEED to do more pigeon pose. Maybe I’ll even reach a point where I no longer feel like swearing at the instructor? lol

  4. The first time I attempted pigeon pose was when I was pregnant and suffering from sciatica. When the pain subsided during the pose, I fell in love. Pigeon is still one of my favorites.

    I hear you on poses pissing you off. I know that is normal. I feel that way about any splits poses. And as you stated, it is usually the ones that upset us that we need the most. Kinda like life, yoga is a great teacher.

    The good news, keep trying it often enough and you’ll be rid of all of the emotion you’ve got trapped there. I used to hate balancing half moon and now I can’t do a class without wishing we’d go there.


    • I would love to get to a place where I enjoyed pigeon. Maybe you’re right, I just need to keep doing it until I let go of all the stored up negative emotion…

      • This weekend I did a yin yoga class and thoughts of you getting pissy came roaring to mind while in pigeon. In pigeon for like 3 – 5 minutes. I wonder if it’s any coincidence that I was pretty pissy after that too! LOL! 😉

      • OMG, T, wow. I would have seriously lost my shit had I been in pigeon for that long!! lol

        I’ve been thinking about what you said about having trapped emotion there. My plan is to take some time tonight, do a little yoga, and spend some time in pigeon pose hopefully release some of that negativity. 🙂

  5. […] much there. It comes roaring to the surface at surprise moments when I let my guard down (Hello ‘pigeon pose’ anyone?). It’s still there, even though it hasn’t been popping out at inappropriate […]

  6. […] over that like CBG on Sunshine after a two-week break. She basically “prescribed” more yoga in my […]

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