Saying Goodbye

One of the most difficult things about being in a long distance relationship are the goodbyes. For the record, there are many,many other difficult parts, saying goodbye at the end of a visit just happens to be one of them.

Being in a long distance relationship and having those every-other-weekend visits is like having a mini-vacation every two weeks. We try to put aside most parts of practical life (whenever possible) so that we can simply focus on one another. We spend time together, we have fun…we laugh…we simply bask in each other’s presence. Who would want to go back to reality after that?

I’ll tell you who: no one. Especially not this gal.

Most of the time, CBG comes to my city to see me. And I have to admit, I love having him here. We have a bit of a “war” going on about whose city is better, but the answer is that clearly, it is mine. So having CBG here with me means that we have lots of options for things to do. This past weekend I was fortunate enough to be able to spend time in CBG’s city. Much as I love having him come to me, and as much my city is far superior of the two, I do love spending time in his space. It’s even more like a vacation from reality for me to be in his house, away from my own clutter and “things to do”.

We had a wonderful weekend together. As we were saying goodbye on Sunday evening  before I was to hit the road, I realized that when it comes to saying goodbye, it’s a whole hell of a lot easier being the one walking out the door than the one who is left behind. Usually I’m the one who has to deal with a lonely bed on the night after CBG has left. After having him here with me for two or three or four nights of snuggling bliss, my bed feels just that much bigger and colder and more empty after he is gone.

Also, being the one walking out the door means that I am moving toward something (my home) rather than being the one left sitting there feeling sad in an empty apartment.

Please don’t get me wrong, though — even being the one to leave instead of being the one left behind, still sucks. And will continue to suck until we’re fortunate enough to not have to do it anymore.

…one day…

2 Responses

  1. See, I have a tough time either way – saying goodbye AND being the one to leave. I am talking in the context of traveling for work, of course, and I just hate walking into the arport and seeing him drive away. The worst feeling ever. So, in that way, I get it. Totally.

  2. Yep. I was thinking the same thing as I watched my man drive away a few weeks ago. It’s difficult to leave but at least I’m distracted with the road ahead of me. When he leaves my place, I’m left looking at all the empty spots he left behind…

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