I Need a CBG Weekend

These last few days I’ve been finding myself absolutely craving CBG’s arms around me. My bed has felt cold and lonely in a way that I don’t think it ever has.

A wave of fear has swept over me in the past week or so – fear of the future, a disbelief in my own ability to handle this long distance relationship. A bone-achingly tired feeling, of just wanting to cash it all in for another version of reality; one where I would never have to worry about being alone ever again. The strange part is that I didn’t even realize that it was fear until I slowed down yesterday long enough to pay attention at what was in my heart.

Life is a bit unstable right now. CBG has been battling his own demons. The holidays are coming and I’m feeling a bit of the financial strain. I’ve been dealing with some of my own issues. My ex got some bad news week. I’m on the verge of some changes in my own life; like finding a new place to live in the new year.

All of these are very good reasons for fear to be cropping up. The scary part is when it’s out in full force but I’m not really aware of it, as has been the case this past week. The good news, however, is that I’m fully aware of it now, and prepared to deal with it appropriately.

Fear is not in charge anymore. Time to continue on this road of bad-assery that I promised myself not that long ago. Bad-assery and appreciating all of the goodness that I have in my life.

Starting with my wonderful, wonderful man. Tonight I will rest my cheek against his chest, listen to his slow breathing, feel the beat of his heart and drift off into a peaceful sleep, happy and grateful for him being there beside me.

2 Responses

  1. awwww…I love the description at the end of this – rest your cheek to his chest and be grateful. Have a wonderful weekend you two. I love this picture of you guys!

  2. Amen.

    Enjoy your weekend!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: