Parenthood is Forever

I’ve done my fair share of bitching about my ex on this blog, I know.

I also know that as far as ex husbands go, I’ve actually got it pretty good. I read a lot of blogs. There are too many douchebags, deadbeats and psychos out there to count. Fortunately for me, my ex doesn’t fall into any of those categories.

(Well…..he does have some moments of douchebaggery, but honestly, what man doesn’t? heh.)

Though my ex and I have had plenty of issues between the two of us, I have to give him props for this: he is a good father. He is tuned in and involved. I know that I have a partner in parenting with him. When it comes to the well-being of our girls, we can talk about everything from medical matters to practical details like buying shoes for school to child development to the girls’ mental and emotional states. Single parenting is tough. But knowing that I have someone on my side, who knows, understands, and loves the girls as much as I do is a precious thing. And for that, I am extremely grateful. I wish that all my single momma friends could say the same thing.

It took us a long time to get to this spot. Hell, we went through a considerable time period where I think he used to wish I would spontaneously combust. I distinctly recall times when I wished he were a deadbeat so I could flee the city and raise the girls on my own. But…with time, patience, effort and understanding on both our parts, we’ve been able to work past that point to a place of mutual respect, sharing, and co-parenting.

Not *quite* friendship….but almost.

And really, this is the best I think I could ask for. That’s not to say that we’ll never butt heads again (because I’m sure we likely will), but I’d like to think that we’ve managed to re-build a strong foundation for our co-parenting years to come. Because that’s the thing about having kids with someone, isn’t it?? The girls mean that we are forever tied together. And if we truly have their best interests at heart (which we both do) then we will continue to make the effort to get along and keep the lines of communication open. We may no longer be together, but we are determined to give our daughters the best upbringing that we can, despite that. Together. Because marriages end, but parenthood is forever.

Right now, I am feeling extremely grateful for the partner in parenting that I have.

4 Responses

  1. it so, so is forever isn’t it. I said something to the kids about that on Monday…be careful who you have children with because they’ll be in your life forever even if the marriage ends. I’m lucky, too, because for the most part we talk civilly and he listens to me about their needs, etc., and is willing to meet me half way on most things. Sometimes I feel like we have a friendship, but then he’ll talk to me like a child or just blow me off and I’m like…well, maybe not. But we make it work for the kids…that’s what matters!

  2. Amen AMEN!

  3. Yep, yep. Keeping the lines of communication open is MAJOR. I’ve been reminding myself of a lot of the same things lately.

  4. […] that friendship back in some ways. Because honestly? Despite our difficulties and our challenges, he’s a good guy.  He loves his daughters and always puts them first. He is making an effort to get along with me, […]

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