I’m Finished with this Self-Neglect Bullshit

That’s right, internets. Me and self-neglect are gonna have to have us a little chat. Because I’m through with it. I’m through with not paying attention to myself, to not making an effort to meet my own needs, and expecting something/someone magical to take care of me. D-O-N-E.

One of my goals for myself during this “step back” that CBG and I are taking is for me to use this time to practice better self-care. I neglect myself, I know. Part of it is simply due to circumstance – after all, being a mom means that I need to put the needs of my girls ahead of my own. But honestly? Another big part of it is a simple fact of not making the effort. And that’s a kind of shitty excuse if you ask me.

I also haven’t been surrounding myself with like-minded people….people who are good at recognizing their needs and meeting them. As we all know, CBG has been (rightfully so) in a funk since at least Christmas. His self-care skills suck at the moment. I have another friend who is a workaholic. Another one who is struggling with her marriage right now. See where I’m going with this? I have a lot of people in my life right now who aren’t taking very good care of themselves. And being the codependent person that I can be, I am often affected by those around me.

And well, I’ve been feeling rather “dragged down”. Not that I’m blaming anyone. Hell – it’s *my* responsibility and no one else’s to make sure that I get taken care of.

Last night I made a point of taking good care of myself. After work I went for my very first deep-tissue massage. I’ve been getting chiropractic treatment for my neck and back, and my chiropractor recommended that I see one of the massage therapists in her office. Despite feeling today like someone pummeled me last night, the massage was ultimately a good decision. After I got home from work, I puttered around my house, cooking dinner as well as preparing food that I could eat for lunch at work all week. There’s nothing worse than having to scrounge for something yummy and healthy to take to work. The evening wound down with a lovely hot bath, and crawling into bed early with my journals and a book. I spent a little time journaling before turning to my book, but truth be told, the book only lasted about 10 minutes before I called it a night. I was pooped!

The best part was that I spent the entire evening tuned into myself and my needs. I went to bed last night feeling like I had done everything that I possibly could to take care of my needs and remain centered and in tune with myself. It was a good night – the first of many, I’m hoping. ‘Cuz you know what? I’m both worth it, AND I deserve it.

9 Responses

  1. This is beautiful and just what I needed to read! AWESOME 🙂

  2. This is SO spot on…and so important. from time to time…I come to this realization too…it’s usually after a prolongued period of self-neglect (which leads to all kind of angst and resentment)…and I have to recommit to taking care of myself.

    Often, it’s things that are so very small…that make us feel like we are nurturing our own needs and getting things under control.

    Good for you, you now have ME motivated!

  3. Can I like this post twice… more than that maybe? This rocks!

  4. AMEN. You totally deserve it. I LOVE how your night turned out last night. Keep it up, my friend!

  5. I am so glad you are doing this. It sounds so much-needed and deserved. I bet you already feel a lot better.

  6. I’d swear I wrote this post myself. That is EXACTLY how I’m feeling too. People in my life aren’t taking care of themselves worth shit. People are floundering and complaining and being negative and pissy. And YES it affects me too. I’m even sick of watching my man do this over and over and over… holy fuck. I’m tired of feeling like the one who has to be strong for everyone else while I secretly wish someone would pay attention to MY needs.

    Grrr… can you tell you hit a sore spot?

    Proud of you for steppin’ up. Inspire on, my friend!

  7. […] can’t solve anyone else’s problems but my own. I can’t help anyone else see what they need to do in order to feel better and live better. I […]

  8. It sounds like you know just what to do. Now you just have to continue doing it! Your night sounds wonderful.

  9. […] at the end of our weekends together, it still hurts. Though I have friends and a life here, and stuff that I’m working on, life without CBG is still lonely. It’s difficult to be okay with that right now. I feel done […]

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