Self-Awareness Sucks!

Sometimes this whole self-awareness thing really sucks. Trust me….you’ll reach a point (if you haven’t gotten there already) when you’ll see exactly what I mean.

Particularly when you want to wallow in self-pity and no matter how hard you try, there’s this Little Voice in the back of your head that insists on reasoning with you. It’s annoying how it’s inevitable that you will reach a point in  your self-awareness journey when you can’t go back to the ignorant ass that you were before. Remember what they say about ignorance being bliss? Yeah, well no shit.

It’s annoying! All you want to do is mope, bitch, whine and complain, and that stupid Little Voice just won’t leave you the hell alone. Apparently, the Little Voice must have lost its invitation to Sunshine’s Pity Party.

The Little Voice reminds you that you have so many things in your life to be grateful for.

It points out how much better life is now than it was two or three years ago.

It notices all the happy little moments that continue to happen to you throughout the day, despite your best efforts at being in a foul mood.

It will calmly and rationally gesture toward a certain list that you made just a few days ago.

That Little Voice even goes on auto pilot when you’re not paying attention and has you do things to make yourself feel better. Things like tidying up your home, getting a good night’s sleep and hell, even getting out for an early morning run. It won’t be until after you’ve done them and actually start feeling better that you even notice.

But most annoying of all, is that stinking Little Voice will remind you, yet again, that this shitty mood of yours is all your choice. And guess what? You can always choose something different.

Stupid voice of reason….trashing my bad mood like that. Jerk. I’m not 100% yet, but if that stupid Voice has its way, I’ll definitely be back to myself by the weekend.

Sigh.

8 Responses

  1. *foot stomp*
    So THERE.
    You told THAT ms. Self Awareness, didn’t you?
    😉
    So so true…but you are also allowed to feel the crappiness and then move on. Which you are doing. 🙂

  2. I agree with jobo’s *foot stomp*. My Little Voice giggles at me and says, “OK, you wanna be mad, BE MAD. Feel it to your core! And when you get done with that, I’ll be sitting here enjoying the sunshine. :)”

    Love this post!

  3. You and Little Voice needed to have it out, girl! Get a good cry in. You’ll feel better.

  4. Don’t you hate that Little Voice? In my case, it’s an actual voice – my husband has GOT to be the most optimistic, positive person you’ll ever meet. Anytime I’m having a bad day and want to piss and moan about it, he always finds a way to turn it around. Sometimes I just want him to STOMP AROUND AND GET MAD WITH ME but he just isn’t wired that way. He now “gets” that I need to get it out of my system before I can move on, but before it was like he just couldn’t “see” why I couldn’t “see” his positive polly outlook on every little thing. Long way of saying – I know how you feel, stomping around is sometimes the best therapy.

    • The worst part was that I wanted to stomp around but that silly little inner voice just wouldn’t let me do it for long enough!! lol She totally crashed my pity party. 😉

  5. TOTALLY understand. Sending you a hug. 🙂

  6. Oh, I HATE the little voice. It’s like you’ve internalized all of the things friends and family have said to you over the years, not to mention the things you’ve read, and now it won’t let you be comfortable just wallowing by yourself for awhile!

    I feel for you. Did I mention that I hate the little voice?

  7. […] it will be my mantra. My Little Voice is telling me that failure is inevitable for all of us…it’s what we do with those […]

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