Transcending My Circumstances

This morning I read this daily affirmation from Wayne Dyer on his website :

Transcend Your Circumstances

By choosing to hang on to your corner of freedom in even the worst situations, you can process your world with the energy of appreciation and beauty, and create an opportunity to transcend your circumstances.

Considering everything that I’m dealing with in terms of my ex lately, this is exactly the message that I needed to hear this morning. I have been giving too much of my freedom away – still – to the man who is responsible for so many of my hurts in the last five years or so. That’s not to say that he’s evil, let me be clear on that. Messed up, sure. Evil? Nah.

Much of the continuing problem rests with me. I am the person who gives away my freedom. I am the person who allows him to treat me in similar ways to when we were married, for fear of rocking the boat or making things worse.

Similarly, much the solution rests with me as well. It would appear, after being given numerous opportunities, that my ex is not going to change. The only person I can control in this scenario is me. I am the person who needs to start standing up for herself more. I am the person who needs to demand respect in our interactions.

Today I make a conscious effort to hang onto my freedom so that I can begin to heal from this situation with my ex, once and for all. It’s likely to be a long, hard road, but I am feeling up to the challenge.

Some things I can’t change – choices my ex makes, his attitude and beliefs, the circumstances that require us to continue being in each other’s lives for a long time to come. But those things I can change – like my own attitude and choices – I definitely will.

Today I begin to transcend my circumstances.

8 Responses

  1. Wow, what a powerful message. You should absolutely hold onto your own freedom and let that grip he may have over you, in some way, go. You are so self-aware, I really find so much respect in that. Some people so easily live with rose-colored glasses and denial. you absolutely do not. Love that about you!

    • Thanks for the support, Jolene…it means a lot to me. 🙂 I’m working hard to improve this because I know that it’s negatively affecting my current relationship, and that’s something that I really don’t want….

  2. Yes. Absolutely.

    I’m reading about enabling… and how much I do it is totally stopping me in my tracks. It’s an insecurity. A control issue. But I can’t be an enabler unless there is a dependent in the relationship as well.

    It sounds like you and your ex had this type of relationship. It sounds like you’re on the right track.

    Good luck!

    • The frustrating part for me is that I identified our relationship as co-dependent several years ago. He flat out denied it, and has only come to terms with it since our split…but fails to recognize that we still have some of those same elements in play now, even though we’re no longer together.

      But alas, I cannot control him, right? 😉

  3. I think it is easier than we think to avoid changing the things that are in our control – not because we don’t want to – but because we don’t necessarily even see that we have that power to enact that change. So the fact that you’re seeing ways to hang on to your freedom, to change the things in your power, is really insightful. Not many have that inward-facing insight…similar to what my sis says about being self-aware.

    • For the longest time I always saw myself as a “victim” – of circumstances, of other people, of life even. But I’ve come to see that I am where I am in my life in part because of others, but mostly due to my own choices. And if I can choose to get myself here, then I can choose to go in a different direction as well.

      Thanks for your support -it means a lot. 🙂

  4. very nice post.
    Keep going!

  5. Sometimes those kinds of things surprise me too, I find myself caught off guard at times when things pop up and make me realize I still have issues to work out. I’m glad you’re working through it though, good luck with it.

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