I Am Loved

It’s been kind of a shitty week.

After the incident on the weekend I found myself in a bit of an emotional tailspin. Nothing major, mind you, but just an overall feeling of “blah”. Add to that a second incident with CBG this week (mostly due to a misunderstanding) and me feeling generally tired and run-down, and well, that all adds up to a less than stellar week.

I’ve gotta admit, too, after hearing QT Mama’s news yesterday I’m feeling a bit disenchanted about love and disappointed in the human race in general. Shit like that can mess with your head.

What I really need right now is a hug. A hug and to spend the weekend with my man, snuggling, laughing, loving and just enjoying one another. I need to shake off this week and let go of all this emotional weight I’ve been carrying around.

CBG and I are going to find ourselves facing some tough stuff when it comes to parenting together in the future. It’s going to take some work for sure. But the good news is that we’re both committed to making this work. No one ever said that relationships are supposed to be easy all the time. Sometimes they really suck. But when you have love, then everything else is workable, if you want it to be.

I fell asleep last night, alone, after shedding a few tears about missing CBG. My body craved the warmth of his body beside me, his arms around me. But then I thought about how loved I am. Loved by a man who suffers, alone, like I do, because he believes in us that much. Loved by a man who believes in me. Loved by a man who constantly makes the effort to be a better person .

Loved by a man who knows exactly how to love me, with all of my imperfections. A man who I love back with all my heart and soul.

I can’t ask for anything more than that.

12 Responses

  1. ((Hugs)) <–did that help? 😉

    QTMama's news and a few other breakups in the bloggy world in the last week or two has shaken me too. After reading hers and one other yesterday, I walked over to M (I realize I am lucky to be able to do that pretty easily) and gave him a hug.

    Sometimes a hug makes it all melt away…at least for a little while. XO.

    • It’s sometimes easy to have our faith shaken when we see our friends going through stuff like this, for sure. It’s good to remember how lucky we are. 🙂

  2. No disenchantment allowed, please.

    See. This is why, at the age of 38 – it’s a RED flag when the man has never been married or been in a LTR.

    Seriously. Red Flag. Giant. Big one.

  3. […] peripherally) and it’s really kind of shaken me. I wasn’t going to blog about it (T and Sunshine both did a good job of that already) and my thoughts on it, but then I saw QT’s news and her […]

  4. Um… yeah. I agree. There is something to be said for watching love gone wrong with people we know. It really messes with our hope in love turning out right, right?!

    You’ll process this and be fine in no time. You know you’re definitely not alone.

    ((boobie squishy hugs))

  5. I’ve been following along silently for the last few posts and just catching up now. I have to say – the love between you two is incredible. Being able to withstand such distance (and for so long) is a true (ridiculously true) testament to the strength of your relationship and the power of your love. It is amazing to see.

    • Wow. Thank you for this comment. Sometimes it takes having an outsider recognize something like this that really makes me appreciate what we have. So thank you….your comment meant a lot to me today. 🙂

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