I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog this week, as well as blogging itself.
This blog is not 100% anonymous. Though I don’t advertise it’s existence to those that I know “in real life”, there are a select few that I’ve told about it. I’ve also recently made “real life” friends with some local Twitter folk who, through my Twitter account, are able to access it. There are also some people, like my ex husband and a former friend who tracked me down online on their own accord. There may be other former friends reading it as well….though none of them have ever had the guts to actually come out and tell me and have a real conversation about it.
I take full responsibility for the fact that I haven’t taken greater steps to protect my anonymity. That is the part that I own. I also take full responsibility for the fact that I sometimes choose to write about intensely personal things. That is also mine. But that the main purpose of this blog from the beginning and the direction that I feel called to go in with it. I feel compelled to continue to write about my challenges and realizations in life. I’ve had to censor myself somewhat; there are some topics from my past I no longer write about. The good news is that these things are truly part of my past now anyway, and don’t really affect my present all that much anymore. Also, knowing that I could be “found out” means that you won’t hear me talking about work a whole lot either. I’m not stupid, folks. I’m going to conduct myself with a bit of class. heh.
The thing that I can’t control is who finds this blog and who continues to read it. If I stay true to my philosophy that things happen for a reason, then I have to believe that those who do “discover” it, do so for some greater purpose that I may not completely understand. I believe that happened earlier this week…when a potentially uncomfortable situation with someone having “discovered” my blog, actually turned out to be a positive experience in the end. I sure didn’t see that one coming.
And so, I will continue on. I will keep writing until this blog no longer serves me. I will write about the things on my heart and in my mind as best as I can, without worrying that there are people potentially “looking over my shoulder”. I will take the risk that there are people reading this blog that I may not necessarily want here….people that are here only to wish me negative things and judge and twist my words. I will also take the chance that the people who have stepped forward and promised not to read my blog anymore can be trusted at their word. It’s a huge leap of faith, but one that I feel I must take. ‘Cuz that’s how I roll.