Maya Angelou has a couple of quotes that I particularly like. But today, this is the one that is speaking to me:

“When people show you who they are … believe them the first time.” — Maya Angelou

I am, once again, experiencing the letdown that follows disappointment in another person. Disappointment that comes after having your expectations crushed. The thing is, there’s a heavy sprinkling in disappointment in myself, for believing more of this person to begin with.

I know that the compassionate and loving thing to do is to simply accept others as they are…for good or bad. It’s difficult to do that sometimes when that other person is your ex. I think what it really boils down to is that, for the good of my own mental and emotional health, and for the good of our co-parenting relationship, I need to let go of those hopes and expectations and embrace the reality of who he is, and our situation.

The disappointment just really sucks.

6 Responses

  1. That quote is dead on! Sorry you’re having to deal w/this though! Happy Friday!!

  2. Wow, great quote. And I agree that while it is sometimes best to accept them for who they are, it’s hard not to feel dissapointed and to want them to be more than they are. I have high expectations and sometimes I just wish others lived up to that. Maybe it’s my own flaw, who knows.

  3. Ugh. When it’s your ex, it’s even worse because you have children together… which means you’re still practically married for years to come. Sorry.


  4. Boy oh boy, had I learned that lesson early I could have saved myself so much pain and anxiety. Good lesson to remember! I’m sorry you’re dissapointed though, that’s a hard one to get through.

  5. Great quote. But it’s too bad really. Some people just don’t deserve the chances we give them. 😦

  6. I just discovered your blog! I think it’s terrific.
    About your disapointment, I’m sorry you are experiencing pain. Disapointment (much like any pain) acts as a teacher. Sometimes we need reminders regarding why we are divorced from this person in the first place.
    Sometimes the loving thing to do for ourselves and the other, is not to have expectations that the other cannot fulfill. Because it creates alot of stress on the other person and upon oneself.
    I wish you peace- Ella

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