Staying Present

It’s shaping up to be a rather tough week for me. The week after CBG weekends generally are; that part isn’t new. There’s not a lot more to say about this; I pretty much said it all yesterday.

Add to this that work is  incredibly busy (we’re down one person in the office which directly affects my work load). I still have a lot to learn when it comes to this job; however, I had a chat with my supervisor last week about how this other person leaving was going to potentially affect my job. I told her that I wanted more responsibilities, that I was keen to take on more. I’m kind of wondering now what the hell I was thinking.

I’ve been feeling pretty exhausted lately. I’m doing a de-tox this week, eliminating caffeine and sugar. The next to go will be gluten and dairy and various other things. I’ve been having some health issues, and going on this temporary cleansing diet should help. But dude? The caffeine withdrawals suck. Plus, winter in general just seems to suck the energy out of me.

On top of all this, CBG is going through a rough time right now. It’s tough to watch. It also takes a certain amount of mental, emotional and spiritual energy to help someone through a funk. Don’t get me wrong — I am more than happy to help him through this, and will continue to do so as long as it takes. But it’s just another one of those things that’s draining me right now.

All of these things add up to me having a tough time staying in the present. It’s tough to do that when the present kind of sucks. But I know that “future tripping”, particularly when my future is very much up in the air, is a dangerous thing to do. It leads to expectations being placed, and well, that’s just not necessarily a good thing.

So I will do my best to remain in the here and now. I will feel gratitude for the things that I have – two beautiful daughters, an amazing man who is absolutely crazy about me, a job that challenges me and pays me enough to get by on. These are all good things…things worth getting out of bed for in the morning.

Things worth staying present for.

3 Responses

  1. Yep.

    It’ll pass. That’s the good news. Trying to do a detox emotionally and dietary at the same time? Ugh.

    Hang in there.

  2. Future tripping…I’m totally guilty of that. And wow, detoxing…really hard. I give you tons of credit, I’m not sure I could do it, need my caffeine and a piece of chocolate here and there!

  3. Hang in there. Hopefully next week will be better for you. *hugs*

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