Insecurity

Whaddaya do when  you find out that your man used to date a friend of a friend of yours who just happens to be pretty freakin’ gorgeous?

Why, you get insecure of course.

Or, well, I do, at least. Even after two years of a committed relationship in which my man has proven himself time and time again.

Um…yeah. Over the Christmas holidays CBG happened to mentioned that he used to date a friend of someone he and I both know. For some reason, it just didn’t sit well with me. Never mind that it was a million years ago. Never mind the fact that I know he is absolutely nuts about me. I found myself with my insecurity button pushed. Here it is, days later, and I’m still feeling it a little bit…despite the fact that he and I have discussed it. I told him how I was feeling and he reassured me, like I knew he would, and yet…the feeling lingers.

It’s tough dealing with this, for some reason. This is totally on me — he has done absolutely nothing to make me mistrust him or to feel insecure in any way. This is about me and my own lingering issues of insecurity and not feeling worthy. It’s about that little nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me that maybe I’m just not good enough.

And so…I’m coping. It’s not like it’s this huge deal…it’s just this little nagging thought in the back of my mind…that question wondering what he sees in me and why he puts up with my crazy moments (like these).

Fortunately, I know that this feeling will pass. We’re spending the weekend together with our kids, and he will, as usual, be his genuine loving, sweet self….and the insecurity will fade. As with many feelings, I just need to be honest and face them.

So forgive me, folks, while I battle this “I’m not worthy!” feeling….

9 Responses

  1. Oh I completely understand! Really, really I do. I can’t figure out why DH would put up with me either, especially last week when I was all sorts of a bitch!

    But I can totally see why CBG would be nuts over you! I understand insecurity, but you’re super great…it’ll pass I know it will!

  2. Ugh I can totally relate! I have almost asked M a million times to see a pic of his ex-wife but part of me is afraid that what if she’s like a stick figure and gorgeous?! She is Greek, so I imagine she is probably very pretty. It’s that nagging girly insecurity thing, isn’t it? But you are right, CBG IS crazy for you, so it’s all in the mind…it’s the “but stil…’ factor! (but you ARE HOT, mmk? 🙂 )

  3. I’ve heard it is written on a man’s bathroom wall somewhere:

    “No matter how beautiful she is, there is a man somewhere who is sick of her shit.”

    I figure, if he’s sticking with me, and I am definitely NOT gorgeous, then I must be doing something right.

    And I also second jobo… you ARE HOT.

    ((hugs))

  4. OMG, I go through this all of the time. I hate being jealous. I agree with Jobo and T. You are HOT!!!!

  5. Two things:

    1. I’m the one who is lucky to be with you, not the other way around. So if anything, I should be the one feeling insecure.

    2. You are SMOKIN’ hot. I don’t want or even feel an inkling of need to be with anybody else. Ever.

    xox

  6. I’ll bet even the “pretty freakin gorgeous” FOF has moments where she freaks out and gets insecure.

    And remember, you landed the hottie, not her.

    Besides, I’ll bet her blog can’t hold a candle to yours.

  7. Any man who publicly calls you “smokin’ hot” is a keeper. And that’s that! 🙂

  8. You’re forgiven…and very human. 😉 Yep, you’re hot and probably have a lot of other better qualities than her as well.

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