Butterflies

True and lasting love is built by butterflies.

Butterflies are what bring two people together. That excited, nervous feeling when you’re first together with someone. That flip in your stomach when you think of them even when you’re not together…remembering your last kiss, the way they looked at you, how they made you feel. The butterfly feeling is what makes us stick around in a relationship until we get to the really important stuff.

Even after over two years of being together, CBG still gives me butterflies. With a kiss or a touch, I sometimes still find myself absolutely breathless. Thinking about him when we’re not together still makes me weak in the knees. It may not be quite the same as it was two years ago, but that feeling is, without a doubt, still very much alive and well.

But you know what? He’s not perfect. There are things about him that irritate me sometimes. We have the occasional tiff. He’s not always the person that I would ideally want him to be in every single situation. I know that there are times when I fail him, as well. That’s what happens in relationships. Two imperfect people come together into an imperfect relationship.

And yet, I love him. And he loves me. Without hesitation.

I’ve heard people say that love doesn’t necessarily have to be about butterflies and having someone who makes you weak in the knees. I respectfully disagree with that philosophy. Butterflies do fade with time, this I know. But they absolutely need to be there in the beginning. We need to be excited about that other person, so we learn more about them. Butterflies are what carry us from infatuation to true and lasting love.Β  As I get to know more about CBG’s hurts and imperfections and wants and needs, I learn how to love him better. And vice versa. This stage of learning, of trying to do better when it comes to your partner, is one that needs to continue throughout your entire time together. We never stay the same, so why should our relationship?

Relationships aren’t always easy. As we learn about our partner and begin to let our guards down, we begin to see the ugliness underneath. We all have it – the imperfections, the hurts, the less than desirable qualities. Loving someone is about loving them no matter what – showing them kindness and compassion even when they are at their least lovable. If those butterflies have done their job properly, then the mere memory of them, the mere thought of being breathless and in love with that other person will be enough to carry you through the tough times.

I’m feeling extremely fortunate today to have what I have with CBG. Of course it’s not perfect. No relationship is. But if this is what imperfection looks like, then I’ll gladly take it…and cherish it for the rest of my life.

9 Responses

  1. AMEN, sista!! I am SO with you on the butterflies. It is so, so, so important that they be there, not just in the beginning but that they linger over the years. Even after almost 7 yrs of marriage and 10 yrs dating, I STILL get butterflies when I see my husband after a long day of work. Keeping that fire alive is a LOT of work, but it’s worth it work, you know? I LOVE that you have this with CBG! Enjoy every moment.

  2. Ahhh! I absolutely LOVE this post!! I think it’s so true about the butterflies and that the perfect relationship has its imperfections. You two fit like a glove and I am loving watching it continue to unfold. You are an inspiration πŸ™‚

  3. This is perfect. Without those butterflies in the beginning I don’t see why you’d stick around to see the rest of the stuff? I still get them with DH, funny thing is I still got them 21 years after our very first first date in 9th grade when I fell so deeply in love with him when we went on our more recent first date in Feb. 09. That kiss, those eyes…there. I don’t get them the way I did in the beginning (all the bouncing around the house, etc), but he can melt me with a kiss. It’s why you stay through the rest. I love his imperfections, too. It’s how I know it’ll last πŸ™‚

  4. Beautiful. And exactly.

    That is all.

  5. A friend of mine talks about having “honeymoon energy” that lasts throughout the relationship, and that’s what I’ve started praying for! Why shouldn’t we have that?!?! It sounds like you and CBG are well on your way. πŸ™‚

  6. Two imperfect souls in a very beautiful – albeit a little imperfect – relationship. I needed this reminder today as we drive each other crazy over the holidays with fighting kids and no time to breathe or spend time together. He’s not perfect, but I love him. Thank you!

  7. I am glad you blogged this phenomenon. IUntil I met my beloved six months ago, the only “butterflies” I knew were the ones that fly around my yard, or the black ones Denise Williams sang about, or as in “being nervous”. When my beloved told me (via internet) that he had them when she thinks of me…I knew it was a good thing, but since her english isn’t that good yet, something got lost in the mix. You have now clarified it, and I have forwarded this to her overseas. You might have a new “fan” soon! lol

  8. one more comment.. as i have already privately commented πŸ™‚

    it will be four years this summer. ..i still get butterflies everytime i am going to see him.

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