Love is the Answer

I think I mentioned before that I’ve been reading A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, on the recommendation of the lovely T.  This book is turning out to be quite profound for me. It’s opening my eyes to seeing the world in a whole different way. The book really speaks to me in a way that many other books like it haven’t done. It’s definitely touching a nerve.

I plan on writing more about A Return to Love once I’ve finished the book. I’m only about halfway through it, and it’s been a profound experience for me.

* * * * *

Last night on the phone, CBG just wasn’t himself. He was feeling a bit “off” and it definitely got pointed in my direction. To be honest, I wasn’t really in the mood to deal with it. I ended the conversation prematurely and hung up the phone feeling a little confused, a bit angry, and a lot hurt.

I went off on a tangent in my mind. I was hurt and angry. In a flash of anger my first thought was, “That’s it! I’m not spending Christmas with him. Fuck it.”

I began angrily folding laundry, thinking about the email that I was going to fire off.

And then I stopped. I physically stopped dead in my tracks, laundry in my hands. I thought about A Return to Love, specifically one line from the book that says something to the effect of, “Everything that someone does is love, or a call for love”. So CBG wasn’t being particularly loving during that phone call. What that meant is that he needed me to give him a loving response. I realized that what I needed to do was to see the situation for what it was: about CBG’s hurt and how he was feeling in that moment. Making it about me, and responding with my own hurt, anger and fear would only make the situation blow up in our faces.

So instead of responding with fear and anger, I chose to do the loving thing. I sat down and wrote him a short but sweet email letting him know that I loved him and that I’m there to support him, and that I’m really looking forward to spending the holidays together as a family. He responded with a loving apology and all was well when I went to bed. That’s a whole lot different than how things could have ended….and likely would have, even just a few months ago.

It feels like I am suddenly seeing so much clearer than I have possibly ever. I feel like a light has been turned on.

Love is the answer.

 

11 Responses

  1. I must look for the book. I have to say, love IS the answer. For the first time in my life I am in a relationship where we never argue. I mean never. Not about anything. It is a wonderful change from relationships earlier in my life.

    Now we just fight the damn government!

    • I’m sure that I’ll forget everything I’m learning and we’ll get into a huge fight again someday. 😉 But I’ll enjoy these small victories when they happen.

      You should check out the book! It’s really great. It was first published in 1992, so I’m a little late to the party, but better late than never, right?? 🙂

      Good luck with the government!!

  2. Wow girl, this post made me cry happy tears! That’s what the entire spiritual study of ACIM (starting with A Return to Love) has done for me too. Sooooo glad you love it so much!

  3. (Sorry that I keep posting under my old blog!)

  4. Wow, that is such a lesson to be learned…for all of us who have done what you almost did – fire off a negative email or phone call because of anger or fear. When, in reality, the opposite accomplishes so much more! So glad you have the clarity you’ve been looking for. You and CBG are in such a different place, it seems, than months ago when things seemed a bit more up and down. So glad for you guys!

  5. What an encouraging post! Before I quit trying to reconcile with my stbx, I’d read a few books that taught similar things and it made a big difference in my life. I’ve gotten away from it since we separated though. Thanks for reminding me!

  6. btw – I linked over here from Shelle’s blog.

  7. What a great lesson: never handle laundry when you’re angry. Don’t fume while you fold. At least, I think that’s what this post was about. 🙂

    Really, what a great way to handle a situation.

  8. Just stumbled upon your blog today. And you know how sometimes you read something you weren’t expecting, but it was just exactly what you needed? This post was that moment for me today.

    “Everything that someone does is love, or a call for love”.

    That line will help me deal with my sons today. Thank you.

  9. I wonder if this book of yours is for both sexes? I will investigate it. I am like one of yourother posters, finally met someone with whom I am on the same page – always…and she is overseas. Iam trying to raise funds to get my first passport and go to meet her in-person next month, til then thank GD for SKYPE these past six months! The Stylistics sang a song once, “Love IS the Answer”…still rings true.

  10. I am going to buy this today.
    This is the kind of thing that I need. That I want to be able to do for the people I love. I too make everything about me sometimes and that is just not reality.
    That is a huge step and I am so proud of you!

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