The Tale of Sunshine and CBG

A few of yesterday’s comments, along with some private emails, brought to my attention the fact that some of you haven’t been around long enough to have been subjected to the full version of the story about how CBG and I got together. I wrote about it before, and what follows is an updated repost of the original, called “Life’s Many Twists”.

Please forgive my self-indulgence this week….I’m feeling kind of sappy and nostalgic. heh.

* * * * *

Your story could be in progress and you don’t even know it yet.

I’m one of those people who, while I’m not 100% sure exactly what I believe, I know that I believe in something. I believe that people enter our lives for a reason, though we don’t always get to know exactly what that reason is. I’ve had too many “coincidences” happen for me to believe otherwise. Sometimes things happen in life, wheels are often set in motion and we have no idea where we’re going to be taken…until we get some distance and perspective, and it all makes sense. Life is mysterious like that. A person that you meet in passing this week could end up having a huge impact on your life….or you on theirs.

You might even end up falling in love.

My story with CBG started two years ago.

in November of 2006.

in 1992. I was 18 and off at University, full of enthusiasm for life and a go-get ’em attitude.

My first year of University I lived in Rez. For the most part I kinda hated it. I made a few friends, and met a lot of “weird people”, too. One of these people was this one strange chick who I was never really friends with, but we knew a lot of the same people, and partied in the same vicinity. It was a small University, everybody knew everybody – especially in residence. The next year she was in my creative writing class, and gained a reputation for being a bit of a suck up and all around weird person.   I don’t really remember her after that. I lived off campus after first year and just went on with my life. She was just one of those semi-memorable characters whose name went down in my University history: “Hey, remember that weird chick who –?”

Life went on. I dated, broke up. Met my future husband, moved cities, married, had kids.

Fast forward to November, 2006.

I was married, my daughters were 3 1/2 and 1 1/2. One night while online, I stumbled across  this same strange chick on a local email discussion group (she lives in the same province as me). She’s got a name that isn’t easily forgotten. I found her blog link and started reading. She had a pretty inspirational story to tell about her life since leaving university, and I quickly saw that she and I shared some of the same philosophies about life and child rearing. For reasons I didn’t really understand or even stop to analyze, I fired her off an email.

Turns out, she remembered me too.

Inspired by her blog, I made the decision to start one of my own. We linked to each other, and began reading each other’s blogs daily. My first “blog buddy”! Sure, she was a little…ahem… ‘eccentric’, but we had a lot in common, including training for and running our first marathon together.

(CBG’s gonna show up on the scene soon, I promise. heh.)

Fast forward again, to June of 2008.

I was struggling with depression. I had just started taking meds for it the month before when I’d reached a pretty scary point. I’d shown some improvement, but was slowly coming to the conclusion that my deep unhappiness with my marriage was the cause of it.  I continued to blog – it was one of the things that kept me from completely drowning in grief and sorrow and all the other negativity that I was experiencing.

I happened to notice on my University friend’s blog a link to another blog, a “real life” friend of hers (turns out they went to high school together).  To further add to the irony, apparently it was this same chick who encouraged him to start blogging in the first place, too. I followed the link and started reading. He was a single dad, a nice guy, with great musical taste and a sense of humour that I could definitely relate to.  Oh – and cute, too.  Actually, exactly “my type”. You know, for a married chick and all.

I kept reading – daily.

No, no, it wasn’t like THAT. I was still with my husband. But y’all know what it’s like when you start reading someone’s blog. You get all caught up in the itty-bitty details of their lives. I liked reading about his daughter visiting and his weekends with his son. I liked reading his “stuck in an afternoon meeting” blog entries. I recoiled in disgust when he ate his first “alligator pizza”. I read with genuine concern when he wrote about the death of a family member. I felt a silent soar of excitement when he got to surprise his daughter for a one day visit. I was there, reading, when he was going through a particularly rough time emotionally, but not really writing much about it. I remember thinking that I wanted to reach out in some way when that happened, but had no clue as to how to do it. So I remained a silent, concerned stranger out there in the blogosphere. I was an anonymous stalker reader, only venturing out to comment once or twice in those initial 5 or 6 months or so.

As I read along, I often found myself wondering why such a great guy was still single. I would read about him feeling lonely, wondering when (if?) he was going to find someone. I distinctly remember wishing that he’d find a woman who deserved such a great man. I wanted this guy to find love…because clearly he deserved it. I knew that when he did, I would celebrate right along with him.

Of course, I was going through issues of my own. It was in August when I finally succumbed to my own personal issues and made the heartbreakingly painful decision to end my marriage. The depression was still looming, and I was sinking even deeper, despite the meds.

Still I kept on reading his blog…as I slogged through my own issues, succumbed to depression, reaching the point of near nervous breakdown. In many ways, my life was falling apart around me. Having the escape of reading about other people’s lives via their blogs was a useful escape for me. It wasn’t like this blog of his was the only one that I was reading…or that it had a huge impact on my life. Blogging was a far smaller part of my life back then than it is now. Where I now consider some of my blogger friends to be extremely pivotal and important in my life, back then, they were merely minor background players. It’s not like I thought about this blogging dude all that much, in the grand scheme of things.

Then one night in November (2008), completely out of the blue, I had a dream about him.

No……not like that, you filthy people. Eeeesh.

The only thing I remembered about this dream afterward was snuggling up close to him, and looking up into his face, smiling…and him smiling back at me. Afterward, I remembered feeling warm and loved and accepted. And most of all …. safe. That was something I hadn’t felt in quite a while at that point in my life.

It was one of those dreams that when I woke up afterwards, I felt like I’d actually spent time with him. It was weird. I felt compelled to do what any stalker normal lonely person would do – I looked him up on Facebook. I fired off a friend request.  And whaddaya know? He accepted it.

After I saw that he had, I sent him this message:

“Glad to see that my friend request wasn’t *too* creepy……………………………………………………………..much.”

And, well… it all just snowballed from there. Who knew that this adorable, funny, 80s-tunes-loving geek would be such a fantastic flirt? That first night I believe we talked and flirted for about 7 hours straight. We experienced an instant click on a level that I have never experienced with another person before.

I found myself filled with that warm sense of safety that I’d been longing for. Talking to him thrilled and exhilirated and terrified me all at the same time.

Since that night two years ago it’s been a crazy ride for the two of us. I had no idea when we broke things off the first time, only a few months after we met that we’d ever find our way back….and more in love than ever. I had even LESS idea, two years ago, that this man whose blog I had been reading would end up being someone who has, no matter what else, changed my life for the better. I certainly had no clue at all that the crazy chick from my rez all those years ago would end up being the connecting link to someone I now couldn’t imagine life without.

All I can do at this point is remain intensely grateful that life has taken me where it has.

I guess the moral of this sixteen-years-in-the-making story is to simply remain open to the people who enter your life, and to the experiences you have. You never know which direction life is going to take you. There are likely forces at work that you can’t even imagine.

It’s an exciting world we live in. I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

9 Responses

  1. That’s a great post. I never knew the whole story. Funny about us, I mean those memorablee crazy chicks. I believe in signs, karma, and doing experience in place math (be aware of where you are and who you are with, and putting together the equations that make a place or time an experience). Naturally, cause obsession takes away from experience. I like your story, it is meant to be!

  2. wow what an amazing story! so inspiring and romantic!!!

  3. Wow, that was beautiful. I am speechless. I had no idea of the backstory and I love reading how you started your blog too. Complete chills reading this, especially about how you were meant to meet him so many many years before. So happy for you two. You are meant to be.

  4. I realized that Ieft out of the story the part about how CBG and I, at one point in our histories, lived on the same street in the same city, and then later we both moved to another part of town – still only minutes apart.


    The Universe works in magical ways!

  5. I love your story! Nostalgia is fun!!! 🙂

    Kisses to the both of ya!

  6. Great story! I love this kind of thing. You’re absolutely right that you never know which minor characters in your life will have a huge impact. It’s happened many times to me, too.

  7. What an amazing story! I completely agree with you, about being open to the people and experiences that enter your life. Great post.

  8. Whoa. Incredible story!! Thank you for posting it for your newer blog friends/followers – I totally loved reading it and didn’t think it was self-indulgent to post your love story here. LOVED it. So cool.

  9. “Your story could be in progress and you don’t even know it yet.”

    Love that sentence! Love the whole story! It’s very inspiring. Thanks so much for sharing.

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