Letting Happiness In

If you’ve been reading this blog for any time now, even the least observant of you know that often struggle with simply allowing myself to be happy. It’s not a new phenomenon for me; it’s a battle I’ve been fighting for quite some time now. Most of my life, in fact.

I’ve tried chasing happiness in a lot of different places. I looked for it in having good grades, a thinner body, the right boyfriend, the right husband, my children, my friends, and being a stay-at-home mom. I certainly found glimpses of happiness in all of these places, but never that long-lasting, right-down-to-my-very-core, capital “H” Happiness.

When we stop to look at all of those things, there is one common denominator.

Me.

I’m the one thing that is constant in all of these pursuits.

I have spent my life being focused on outside people and things to bring me happiness, when really, it’s been there all along. I just needed to be able to let it in.

Some days I am good at this. Some days – like last week when I was walking back to the office after grabbing some lunch nearby, I realized that I felt pretty happy. Not for any particular reason, specifically, but for all the reasons n my life – having a decent job, two wonderful daughters, some pretty fantastic friends, a supportive and caring family, and a man who is absolutely crazy in love with me.

That’s a whole lot of reasons to be happy. But on the days when I’m unable to let the happiness in, I can think of just as many reasons to be miserable – not having as much money as I would like, not having a job that nourishes my soul, not seeing my girls as much as I would ideally like, struggling with doing the long distance relationship thing indefinitely.

So what’s the difference?

Again, it comes back to the one common denominator: me. Me and my own attitude. Me making the choice to focus on the good things, so that they seem more important than the not-so-good. I’m still working to perfect this. I don’t get it right every day. But the good news is that its getting easier, the more I do work at it.  And what an amazing feeling that is. Some days it takes a whole lot more effort than others. And some days I struggle and fall down. Despite this, I will keep picking myself up and making the effort. Because when I take a good long look at life, I know that it is absolutely worth it.

Today I choose to let the happiness in.

6 Responses

  1. You and me both, girlfriend.

    I’m choosing happiness too… now that it’s affecting my health. I always tried to choose it before but ya know, my body’s trying to tell me something now. It has to be an active a muscle as my legs from cycling.

    Here’s to workin’ our happiness muscles!

  2. It is uncanny how perfectly-timed your posts are. Everytime I get one come through my email, it’s as if you knew what I had been dealing with, good or bad, at that very moment. I can’t tell you how much it helps knowing that there are others who struggle with the same types of issues…and I applaud your openness to share with the rest of us! Very therapeutic, indeed. Have a *happy* day!

  3. Wow, I love this post. It couldn’t be more true – happiness is US, not anyone else…I feel like many people try to put happiness on others to give them rather than taking the onus on themselves. Well put!

  4. It is that dangerous word ‘enough’. Good enough, close enough that so easily turns into not enough.

    But it is good when although it may not be movie worthy, it is enough.

    Enough to be happy about. Bravo for see that, at least occasionally

  5. So there I was cruising the Internet and came upon your Blog. Interesting because I usually peruse a few posts and move on. Reading some more I found you write how I feel–so I saved you into my Favorites.

    This particular post reminded me of a quote I wrote down just this morning culled from my Instagram friends around 8AM.

    “Your Visions will become clear when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside; dreams. Who looks inside; awakes.”
    Carl Jung.

    I think it’s relative. I also think it was your Universe who asked me to write it down and send it to you.

    Peace…

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