Oh That Pesky Guilt…

I struggle with “The Big G-Word” a lot: Guilt.

Guilt is the curse of being a mother. I think that a lot of us struggle with it. As a single mom, that guilt is multiplied ten-fold. But I’ve written about that before. Not so long ago, either. It’s a biggie for me, I guess.

This particular post has been brought to you by the guilt I feel about my long distance relationship. Of course there’s guilt there. This is ME we’re talking about! I can take any perfectly good thing and spin a web of guilt to surround it without batting an eye.

I talked to CBG about that just this morning: the guilt I feel about our relationship. I feel guilty knowing that it causes him extra financial strain. I feel guilty thinking about the sacrifices (financial and otherwise) that he makes in order for us to be together.

Guilt, guilt, guilt. How do I manage the guilt? How do I stop it from putting a damper on what he and I have? How do I keep it from weighing me (and therefore us) down?

3 Responses

  1. Something tells me CBG gets a lot more out of this relationship than whatever stress is put upon him to maintain it 🙂

    My advice – not because you asked and not because I’m healthy enough to give any – is not to take on guilt that isn’t yours. This is responsibility your partner has chosen to take on in order to be with you. There’s nothing to feel guilty about because this is HIS CHOICE. He chooses to be with you, loves being with you, and it’s worth the expense because of it. The end.

    Spend your guilt energy on something worth feeling guilty about. As a mom, I know there’s plenty of opportunity! LOL

    • You’re right. It’s just my tendency to put a damper on even the best things, I guess. It’s like, even after almost two years together, I’m still holding my breath and waiting for the bottom to fall out.

      I guess with that kind of thinking it’s almost sure to happen, huh?

  2. The Mavin is right – you can’t take on guilt that isn’t yours to shoulder.

    CBG is in this relationship because you rock, and you make his life better by being a part of it. Once that’s no longer the case (if that ever happens) then it’s up to him to let you know and to do something about it.

    I’m a lot like you, so I understand how you feel. It’s been over a year with BLT and I think all the time “I’ll miss this when BLT dumps me” sick I know… but I can’t help it. I keep waiting for him to realize he can do so much better than me and my drama filled, crazy life.

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