Disappointment is what happens when someone fails to meet the expectations that you have for them.

Sometimes those expectations are unrealistic. Sometimes it is asking too much of the other person. I get that this isn’t fair to the other person. We need to love people for exactly who and what they are, without strings or expectations attached. Unconditional love and all that.

But what happens when those expectations are simple and basic? At what point do you decide between realistic and unrealistic expectations? Not all expectations are out of the question. Sometimes they’re simply a part of being in a good relationship. And you know what? I’m not sure that I believe in unconditional love in all cases. It’s one thing to love someone for exactly who and what they are…but it’s quite another to look away from real issues within the relationship.

The big problem comes in recognizing the difference between the realistic and unrealistic expectations. Recognizing the difference and communicating those realistic expectations with your partner in a healthy, productive way.

You’d think this relationship stuff would get easier after a while.

Not so much.


5 Responses

  1. Sigh. I know this feeling…from a friendship right now. Dissapointment is hard to swallow. I’m sorry to hear it my dear!

  2. Ah… expectations… I can relate… I’m going through the same thing myself. Wanting so desperately to be on the same page… while trying to blend lives together….it is so difficult to achieve…. but I will remain the optimist.. Communicating those expectations… while maintaining my composure… I find to be one of the most difficult tasks of all….. hope it all works out : )

  3. I am so sorry that you’re having a hard time. Why isn’t life ever simple!

  4. At some point I keep waiting for relationships to be simple and they never are–no matter the age. My 12-year-old daughter was just broken up with by a boy who told HER friend first … lame. See, even 12-year-olds, who are so close to knowing everything, don’t even know how to work relationships 😉 *hugs*

  5. Hmm. I’m not sure I believe in unconditional love either. Especially in romantic relationships. I’m not sure where the line between asking too much and asking just enough is, but I know it exists. I think we let our potential partners know some of those expectations up front in direct and even indirect ways, and if they choose to enter into the relationship anyway, that is a tacit understanding and even acceptance of those conditions.

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