Deep Blue Funk

Yeah, I know. I’ve been in a shitty mood all week. It’s definitely shown in my blog posts. Sorry for the downer.

(And if you’re really curious, talk to CBG. He’s been a witness to my ‘funk’. He’s been on the receiving end of it, too.)

Life has changed – again – for me in the last few weeks, what with the new job and all. I’m still trying to fit in, figure out the job, settle into life as it’s going to be for a good long while to come.

I’ll blame my funk this week on being part of the adjustment period. Yeah, right…that’s it…adjustment.

Whatever.

But you know what? Screw that. In the past two and a half years I have been through a clinical depression, separation, three major anxiety attacks, starting (and maintaining!) a long distance relationship, losing an entire community of friends, moving, and seven (SEVEN!!) different jobs (granted, all of them temporary jobs except for this last one, but still). Both of my girls have started school during this time. I have survived near poverty. CBG and I went through breaking up and getting back together. I’ve had major drama with former friends. I’ve also gone through hell and back with my ex husband. This long distance relationship can be a huge roller coaster at times. I am still adjusting to living on my own, for basically the first time in my adult life. In this time, I went from being a stay at home, homeschooling mom to being a working single mother.

Whew.

So screw it. I think I’m allowed to still feel overwhelmed by yet another change, even though it is ultimately a positive one.

Here’s where I need to cut myself some freakin’ slack. A lot of people would have cracked under this amount of stress. So this bad mood can blow me, frankly.

I keep thinking back to my “Attitude Makeover” from a while back. I know that overall I have improved…but still, much work needs to be done. And honestly? I’ve been slack-a-lackin’. I can’t keep doing the same things and expecting different results, now can I?

I need a plan. A plan for hanging onto the goodness, for keeping my Attitude Makeover rolling along and letting the negativity fall away. Because this attitude sure as shit isn’t going to make over itself. So that will be my focus for the next little while…coming up with a good, solid plan for keeping myself on a more positive track.

I’ll keep you posted.

And when you see me sliding into that funk again, someone give me a kick, would ya?

7 Responses

  1. Um…. running? Yoga? Good hardcore sex?!?

    That helps me. 🙂

    You’ll be fine.

    Big love.

  2. Note to myself – find out what a “funk” is!

    I think you’re right you should cut yourself some slack. Just go with the flow. Work isn’t the be all and end all. It serves to provide the means with which you can enjoy a happy life with your girls and CBG.

  3. I just want to send you lots of hugs.

  4. I shall hope the funk lifts a little – it will – we all do this rollercoaster sometimes… now I have to read this makeover …. have a great week sunshine!

  5. I still go through moments like this!

    T is right though – Yoga helps 🙂

    Maybe start a gratitude journal – it always helps me to stop each day and remind myself of what I do actually have!

  6. […] night I needed this. It would seem that last week’s funk is trying to nose its way into this […]

  7. have u read the book THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED by dr SCOTT PENCE?

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