Part of not being codependent with the person you’re in a relationship with is to know when NOT to get involved in their stuff. That one is particularly tough when the person you love is being made miserable by their ex-spouse.
In the past week, both CBG and I have had to deal with run-ins with our ex-spouses. When it’s been happening to the other person, we’ve each had to overcome the urge to get involved. Yesterday was tough for me, since CBG was getting verbally cock-punched by his ex-wife for trying to express some boundaries and open up a dialogue with her about their son. It’s hard to sit back and just be a witness to that. But I know that opening up a can of whoop-ass on her would only make the situation worse, and really wouldn’t change anything that this woman thinks, except perhaps make her think even less of him, and likely me as well.
And so, I sit back, tongue bitten so hard that it’s practically bleeding, knowing that this is something that CBG has to handle on his own. But what can I do? I can love him. I can keep having faith in him. I can reassure him. I can help him to keep a clear picture of himself and his parenting. Beyond that, the rest is up to him.
But what I wouldn’t love for twenty minutes alone in a room with that woman…
Filed under: bitching, CBG, drama-lama-ding-dong, figuring stuff out, Getting it off my chest, living and learning, thoughts on stuff | Tagged: canadian bald guy, codependence, life, relationships, singlemom |