There are a lot of differences between a real, legitimate victim and a ‘poor me’ victim.
A real victim has been legitimately hurt by someone else without their permission.
A ‘poor me’ victim has, whether it’s consciously or subconsciously, participated in the ‘abuse’.
A real victim doesn’t want what has happened to them.
A ‘poor me’ victim, on some level, needs drama in their life.
A real victim takes responsibility for their own actions.
A ‘poor me’ victim is so busy pointing the finger and laying blame that they are unable to see their own part in what has happened.
When you’re a real victim it really is about the other person.
When you’re a ‘poor me’ victim you need to pony up and see that you’ve had a hand in creating your own misery, too.
Clinging to the belief that you are a victim is the easy road. We’ve all done it before, haven’t we? Slipped into the “poor me” line of thinking. Feeling bitter and angry toward the people that have hurt us. It’s an easy route to go, because it removes any bit of responsibility that we ourselves might have. And let’s face it, as adults, we need to accept responsibility for our choices and for the situations that we find ourselves in.
Painting yourself as a victim is lazy. It allows you to escape taking a good, long, hard look at yourself, see where you are going wrong in your life and actually do something about it. Being a victim means that it’s always the other person’s fault. Well honey, there comes a time when you have to face facts and see reality for what it is. As an adult, you own the choices that you make. You are responsible for the relationships that you find yourself in.
It’s not about everyone else – it’s about you.