When the Long Distance Relationship Gets Tough

I guess many of you read yesterday about what’s happening with CBG’s mom. This is one of those times when I hate hate hate being 267 kms apart.

I’m the kind of person who really believes in the power of physical touch when someone is hurting. I give hugs. I snuggle. I allow the other person physically feel my love for them. This is particularly true when I’m in a romantic relationship with someone. I would love nothing more than to be able to curl up beside CBG and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

I hate feeling helpless when I know that he’s hurting right now. I offer the only thing that I have – my words – but they never feel like enough. I listen when he needs it , but I know that it would be so much more effective if I could listen while holding his hand. It’s frustrating. But I know that adding to the situation with frustration isn’t going to help anyone. And so, I swallow that feeling so that I can be there for him….because right now, things need to be about him. I understand completely, and am more than okay with it.  After all…that’s what relationships require of us – supporting the other person through the worst of times.

Last night we had an uncomfortable moment when I was offering up the only thing I had – words of support – and he was clearly frustrated with me. It’s difficult to know the right thing to say all the time. Words are so imperfect. This next while is going to be a long haul for the two of us – one of those “relationship tests” when things get really difficult. After last night, I realize that it’s going to be tougher than I thought.

One thing is for sure, though – when I see him on Friday night, I am going to give him the biggest, longest hug I’ve ever given him…and hope that it makes up for the last two weeks without any. More importantly – I hope that it makes up for the imperfection of my words.

This is one of those times when I find myself leaning heavily on faith. Faith that this is one of those times that love and good intentions are enough. Because right now, until I have my arms around him, it’s really all we’ve got.

6 Responses

  1. […] Read the rest here: When the Long Distance Relationship Gets Tough « Sunshine on My … […]

  2. words are so empty some times and yet so full in other moments!! I know it is hard knowing someone you love hurts and not being there with him! So glad you have your faith to guide you!!!!!

  3. He knows you’re there. That’s huge for him. But yes, I do so understand how you feel.


  4. At least you have those times when you CAN be together to look forward to and I’m sure that helps you get through the rest.

  5. Aww…I can just imagine how much you want to reach through the phone and offer a hug instead of words. And just be silent and hug and support. Faith is what you have, you are right, and that will get you (both) through.

  6. I agree, it’s really hard to put into words all your feelings, especially in tense / sad / stressful situations.

    I hope you two had a good visit and were able to reconnect.

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