Relationships are Sticky

Relationships are tough sometimes. And yet still, we do it. We put ourselves out there, willing to be hurt because we are drawn to someone else.

Last night on the phone CBG made some remark to me about how we have it more difficult because of the distance. I’m not so convinced. We are certainly faced with challenges. I just think that ours are different than either one of us have had to cope with because of the distance…but not that they are any more difficult than a “regular” relationship. I think that choosing to believe that we have things more difficult in our relationship is just a set-up for certain failure.

When you’re with someone in the same home (which we would surely be if we lived in the same city)  there are all kinds of practical details that can trip you up. Dirty underpants on the bedroom floor. Whose turn it is to clean the bathroom.

When you’re in a long distance relationship, there are no practical details that get in the way. The things that can trip you up are email slip-ups and miscommunication.

Sure, the distance is difficult. It causes unique problems that aren’t there in more ‘traditional’ relationships. I refuse to believe that these problems are any more difficult…they’re just different. CBG and I are breaking new ground. Neither one of us have been in a long distance relationship before…so this simply means that we need to figure some things out, rather than assume that we can treat this relationship the same as all of our previous ones.

One thing I know for certain is that I love this man….with all my heart. I love who I am when we’re together. I love who we are together. Is that really something that we can throw away because of 267 stinkin’ kilometres?

If the love that we have for each other isn’t worth fighting for, then frankly, I don’t know what is.

6 Responses

  1. I actually think that the distance can in some ways make it easier almost.

    You are forced to take things slow. You are forced to still have your own time etc. These things often get forgotten too quickly in conventional relationships!

    Having said that though – it is still extremely hard and does need to be dealt with carefully and with love!

  2. When you find love, the challenges will always be there. There is no perfect relationship situation. Just know …we’re rooting for you!

  3. I left a comment for both of you on CBG’s post.

    I say look deeper. Really push all the petty stuff aside and go deeper. There is something there that is causing this.

  4. Nice post. I agree. Being apart is difficult in the most obvious ways, but when you have 4 hour phone conversations with someone on a regular basis, I think you know them better than if you lived in the vicinity. Plus, you still have (most of) your independence, which is sometimes sacrificed in a traditional relationship.

  5. I’ve always fallen for the myth that “LDR’s are hard” too. But you bring up a great point. Every relationship has challenges. Now that I’m in a LDR myself, I actually see some actual advantages to living 700 miles apart. It forces you to have some space and go slow, as others have pointed out.

    I read CBG’s post on this (great pic of you two, BTW!) and I wonder if this is just the normal growing pains of any relationship. Maybe you’re leaving the “honeymoon phase” and entering the part where you have to do more conscious maintenance?

    Good luck. As bloggers, you’re both smart and thoughtful, so I hope you can work through this challenge. As you say, 267 stinkin’ kilometres (166 miles to us Americans) shouldn’t stand in the way of love.

  6. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Momma Sunshine, Ahmad. Ahmad said: Relationships are Sticky « Sunshine on My Shoulder: I just think that ours are different than either one of us hav… […]

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