Random Relationship Ramblings

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, relationship-wise. I’m gonna forget that CBG reads my blog and that a lot of mutual online friends read it too and just write about what’s on my mind.

We’ve been having…issues.

In the last couple of months we’ve had things come up between us. We both had (ANOTHER!)  mutual, “can we really keep doing this?” kind of freak out. We’ve gotten into a couple of spats. We’ve had some major blended family parenting issues come up. Hell….we don’t even agree on Lindsay Lohan, for goodness sake!!

We are very different people. Sometimes our differences help to highlight the good parts of the other. Sometimes, those differences just feel like even more obstacles to overcome.

I don’t know if we’re just going through some “growing pains” as a couple together, as we get to know each other more, or if this is the beginning of the end for us….a long, slow death that ends in resentment and hurt feelings. How do you recognize the difference between the two?

All I know is that when we’re together, the other details don’t seem to matter nearly as much. The problem is that we’re not really together all that often. And won’t be for a very long time.

The real question becomes: How much can love overcome?

12 Responses

  1. Gosh, I ttotally admire both you and CGB to be so open in your writings that each other reads….talk about being open,that is quite impressive guys!

    Do you ever find your/his blog postings are hurtful to one another(not on purpose of course!) or add more worry to the LDR?

    Kudos to you both for basically opening your “diary” to each other.I could never do that,but have admiration for it!

  2. I had the same kinds thing happening recently. I just kept getting worked up about all sorta of blending families/coparenting issues, finding fault with some of his parenting choices, I was being oversensitive (maybe) about conversations, picking fights, feeling distant… I chose to ask myself what it was “really” about. I mean, come on, was I really that pissed about his choice in bathing suit for his daughter or the way he said “no” to my son? Or was it that I was picking at him and our relationhip because other stresses were taking their toll and I wasn’t happy?

    Just don’t forget that sometimes it’s a “bigger picture” problem, and not so much the little things that keep coming up…

    • You’re right…sometimes it IS about the bigger picture. What has been going through my head, though, is what exactly the big picture problem is. It’s been weighing on my mind a lot lately…

  3. I also applaud the openness here, and I think it could very well be some relationship growing pains as you shift deeper into your relationship and try to cope with the LDR thing every day. I think love can overcome a lot, if you are both committed to it, and I think you are, from what I have read, so I hope for the best for you two. You have amazing communication and I think that’s the first huge hurdle in a LDR.

  4. What an awesome post you are giving me the strength to write a post I need to write.

  5. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Momma Sunshine, Momma Sunshine. Momma Sunshine said: Random relationship ramblings. http://bit.ly/bnz4e0 […]

  6. I had no idea where the relationship with BLT was eventually going to go. I knew I loved him, I knew he loved me. But California and Washington state are pretty damn far apart.

    Take some time, be kind to yourself and to him, and let things play out. If it’s a rough patch / growing pains then things will start to work themselves out. If the sitation becomes MORE complicated, or you start having more reservations and issues then maybe it’s time to take a step back and spend some time apart.

    I hope you guys figure out what you both need and want,and you find a way to make that happen. I never imagined I would have BLT here with me, and I’m SO happy. I want that kind of happiness for you two as well if it’s what you both desire.

  7. […] assets as a couple…communication…has lately become one of our major problem areas. As Sunshine mentioned yesterday, we can’t even agree on a stance when it came to making fun of Lindsay Lohan…and we […]

  8. I don’t know if we’re just going through some “growing pains” as a couple together, as we get to know each other more, or if this is the beginning of the end for us….a long, slow death that ends in resentment and hurt feelings. How do you recognize the difference between the two?

    The difference between the two is not something that you recognize, but something that you decide.

    One of the biggest problems in the English language is the way that the word love is spread so thin. It is used for so many different meanings and other languages have several words to convey the different meanings.

    But when it comes to relationships, the feeling of love will come and go. There will be tension that brings it down. There will be joy that raises it up. Sometimes you’ll feel it and he won’t. Other times, it will be the other way around.

    But the love that will get you through, the love that will conquer all, is the love that you make. This is the love that you consciously decide to give. It is putting the needs of the other ahead of our own. Even when we don’t feel like it.

    This is hard to do, but it is so worth the effort!

  9. My husband and I were long distance for over a year. THe thing that helped me was that he made sure that I knew he was thinking about me. Calls and/or whatever.

    It’s hard. But ALL relationships have times in them where they aren’t pleasant.

    The person is who you should focus on.

    Is he what you want? Is he worth the effort of the time apart.

    I found that the space separating our visits left me vulnerable and unsure of our relationship… but every time we were together we were just fine–I knew he loved me, I knew he wanted me. It was the time when we were apart where it was just basically ME having zero confidence in myself and in him.

    • I honestly feel like he and I are likely just going through another stage in our relationship and it’s just going to take some time to figure things out. I have no problem doing my own thing and being a completely independent person when we’re apart…which is one way that I’ve grown a lot in in the last year and a half or so. I think that he and I just need to find a new way of “being” within the boundaries of our relationship. 🙂

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