Allowing

Yesterday after my whiney blog post, I made a decision. I decided to simply allow myself to feel what I was feeling.

I didn’t focus.

I didn’t dwell.

I didn’t even try to yank myself up out of it.

I simply acknowledged that I was feeling bad…and that I had good reason for feeling that way. I told myself that it was okay to feel whatever I was feeling, but that I needed to not allow it to consume me.

I got to work, stuck my head down, and focused on that. I went into a meeting and spent that time dealing with work matters, without feeling sorry for myself about my personal life. On my lunch break I went out for a nice long power walk with my iPod and just enjoyed getting some exercise. After lunch, I kept powering right on through my day.

And that was that. Once I arrived home at the end of the day I realized that I had made it through the worst of my mood. There’s a fine line there between allowing and wallowing; a subtlety there that I don’t always recognize or pay attention to. I can’t always practice blind positivity, either – I’m just not that kind of person.

I’m still learning my way. Some days will be crankier than others. Some days the crap will weigh me down, other days I will feel lighter than air. All of these things are okay. It’s all part of life — all part of a “normal” existence. And it’s so good to be able to see that.

Thankfully, yesterday is behind me. It’s over and done with – no longer a part of my reality. I can’t spend my time worrying about what happened, or what I did or didn’t do. Here’s to today- the only reality that I have any kind of control over. I choose to make it a good one.

9 Responses

  1. I am in this place too…hard week…I normally bounce back but sometimes just can’t! I am learning to just let myself feel the hurt knowing that I cannot stay here but its OK to be here!

  2. We all will have bad days is just natural.

  3. I’m happy that you made this decision. Hope you feel better soon

  4. “There’s a fine line there between allowing and wallowing; a subtlety there that I don’t always recognize or pay attention to. I can’t always practice blind positivity, either – I’m just not that kind of person.”

    So true of myself too. Sometimes it is just about allowing yourself to feel like shit. I know that when I feel bad and then get mad at myself for feeling bad, I tend to make myself feel even worse trying to get out of it. Glad you did get out of it, and I hope today is a much better day!

  5. Genious!

  6. I love your quote, I would like to use it… “There’s a fine line between allowing and wallowing”..

  7. I haven’t read your previous post yet so I’m not sure what you were whining about (obviously going to have to go read it when I’m done with this). But I love what you said “there’s a fine line between allowing and wallowing.” That’s a great point. We have a right to allow ourselves to feel what we’re feeling it’s when we start wallowing in feeling sorry for ourselves, etc that is a problem. I’m glad that you let yourself feel what you were feeling worked through the mood.

  8. And there you go.

    See? Knew you’d be just fine. 🙂

  9. […] And so, today, I put my head down and power through the day. I will allow the sadness but I refuse to wallow in it. […]

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