Last week was a pretty rough week.
I started talking with my exhusband again – really talking- for the first time in a year and a half. This dredged up a lot of emotional garbage for me, things that will take some time to work through, I think.
CBG had some difficulties of his own. It’s always tough seeing the person you love go through the tough stuff. Especially when that “stuff” has an impact on me and our relationship.
My youngest was sick. We spent yesterday (Mother’s Day!!) at the walk-in clinic. Turns out she has hand,foot and mouth. Not the worst thing in the world, but just one more thing on my list of things to deal with. As of late yesterday afternoon, it would appear that my oldest is now getting sick as well.
I’ve been feeling strangely distant from CBG for the last little while. He had phone issues and didn’t have a phone for about a week or so, which meant that we haven’t been able to have our nightly phone calls. He’s had the phone on Friday and still haven’t talked yet. My excuse is that I’m just too tired to talk when bedtime comes….the reality is just that I just don’t really feel like it. I haven’t really figured out why just yet…and I’m avoiding confronting it, as usual.
But today begins a new week. On Thursday night, CBG will be here with me. Friday’s my birthday – we both have the day off and we’re spending a good portion of it with my lovely girls. I’m really looking forward to it.
Hopefully I can pull my head out of my ass by then so we can all have a good time.
I know that just because last week was shitty, it doesn’t mean that this week has to be, too. And yes, I know that *I* am the one in control of my outlook and attitude. I know all about being positive and grateful and all of that other stuff. I know all those things. They’re just not always easy to put into practice.