Taking Care of Business

I made an important decision last week.

I am getting my tubes tied.

I have long since decided that I am finished having children. I love my two girls. A lot. They are the centre of my world. When I’m being 100% honest with myself, part of me would like to experience the baby stage of life again. Part of me. And the thought is always fleeting. With CBG three hours away, my life situation being what it is and my job situation being what it is, having another child just isn’t in the cards. And I am completely okay with that.

Having said that, I have been on the pill for the last year and a half – and I hate it. I hate having something artificial like that in my body. I hate the side effects and grief that the pill has caused – I’ve tried about 4 different kinds before finally finding something that was a good match for me.

When I met CBG he was talking about getting a vasectomy. I fully supported him in that decision. I know lots of men who’d had them (including my ex), and it was no big deal. CBG was clear from the start that he was finished having children and didn’t want any “accidents”.

Well, folks, that was a year and a half ago…and still, no snip.

Now, in his defense, there are lots of factors going on there that have gotten in the way of him having it done.

And frankly, since I’m on the pill, getting the snip just isn’t on his radar. I mean…come on…he’s a dude. He’s getting his without worry, so what’s the problem, right? I can imagine that most men only go for the snippety-do-dah because they’ve got a wife or girlfriend nagging the crap out of them. I doubt there are many men out there who gladly volunteer to have their ballsack fondled by a dude with a cauterizing tool.

I used to be that wife, the wife who reminded, who nagged, whose life was a little too entwined with her man’s. The thing is – I’m not that girlfriend. It’s not my job to nag CBG to do things, period. We’ve had “the discussion” – more than once – and still I sit here taking the evil pill, suffering the consequences and having every single minute of it.

And then I realized that I don’t have to leave something this important in the hands of someone else. He’s not the only one who can do something about this. A good friend recently had her tubes tied and in her opinion, it just wasn’t that bad. I’ve done some research on my own, and everything that I read tells me that it’s a fairly simple procedure and I should expect a quick recovery. Hell, I’ve been through a c-section with my first daughter….and after that, well hell, I can do anything.

Last week I had a conversation with my doctor and she sent off a referral. The Canadian health care system can be slow when it comes to things like this, so I will likely end up waiting a while before I actually get it done. But the wheels are in motion and I’m on my way to getting it done. On my own. And that feels really good at this stage of my life. I don’t need someone else to provide me with a solution to this one.

So baby, just so you’re on notice, when you’re the one taking care of me after my procedure I expect extra-special treatment. So if I ask for a foot rub, guess who gets to pony up? And if I want ice-cream, then you’re on tap. You get the idea. And yes, I’m totally going to milk it for all it’s worth, and you’re gonna do it, to show your appreciation for the fact that you’re not laying on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on your junk. heh.

13 Responses

  1. I think that is a wise decision. I wanted to get my tubes tied when I was in my 20’s and doc refused. Kinda glad she did now that I’m facing 40 and want to try to get pregs!

    Good for you. Take control of your health, your situation and YOUR body!

  2. I had the Essure procedure done right after I turned 30 and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself! I didn’t want any “accidents” and my dr. wouldn’t do anything till I turned 30 and I respected that. I recommend it to any woman out there. It’s about us and our bodies and us feeling safe.

  3. I’m smiling that you are enjoying this authority of self that often comes with age. And, by the way, you are well ahead of the curve … the bends in life often call us to hold others accountable as they stand beside us. It’s not nagging … no, no, no.

    It’s asking someone to meet you at the same place and evolve through their actions, and arrive at the same horizon you envision.

    BIG smiles!

  4. It’s always good to be in control of those sorts of things, especially if you know for sure that you don’t want any more kiddies (other than the step-mommying kind)

    Yes, milk it for all you can; it is a more involved procedure than the snip, after all

  5. I love that you are taking control of the situation Sunshine! It’s a good, strong decision!

  6. I think that is great and CBG, you need to take good care of her afterwards!

  7. Agreed.


    I was sort of getting ticked at Rascal for this same thing. He has always said he wanted to get a vasectomy and yeah, that hasn’t happened yet.

    So, I took care of MY own too.

    I LOVE the tone of this post, girl. I wanna be JUST LIKE YOU!!!


  8. I just went in to talk to my doc about it too! Hubs has been saying he is going to go in and well…5 years and 2 children later, here we sit….No one has been cut, tied, snipped or otherwise…I, like you have decided it is up to me to get it done! I still have the occasional hankering, but once my 3 start at each other it quickly passes…

  9. Way to go, way to take control of it.

  10. I think every woman should take responsibility for their “baby factory” lol, and shut it down when they are done. Don’t wait around hoping for some man to do it, even if he loves you.

    It’s very liberating to take total control over that area of your life!

  11. I had my tubal ligation almost 8 years ago,..Very rarely do I ever sit back and wish for more children..It was an easy procedure, only had me down for a few days.

    And now I can remind myself that when I’m 43, my kids will be grown and gone and I can get to traveling…lol

  12. and may i add, its no ones responsibility but our own to ensure we dont have children anymore. i didnt even ask my boyfriend to do it (whom, i plan to be with forever)
    but, its was ME who didnt want kids anymore, and even though he doesnt either. its ME who got it done. 🙂


    KEEP US POSTED! xoxoxox

  13. Thank you, I wish there were more women out there like you. Seriously if you ask your man to get the snip, you just don’t care about him. I would do anything for my wife, and she asked me to get a vasectomy, so of course I did it, and have regretted it every second of every day since. I can unequivocally state that it is NOT “no big deal”.

    And while I don’t believe anyone should have a surgery that is not “required” or otherwise saves a person from serious pain, I applaud your caring.

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