The Ever-Elusive Search for Balance

I’ve been feeling more than a wee bit overwhelmed with the details of life lately.

This past weekend, my girls and I went to the country and spent two nights with my mom. Upon our return, I immediately went into “freak out cleaning mode”. The house was a mess. The laundry has piled up lately. I haven’t had time to do much baking. Easter decorations? Still in the closet. Or somewhere. I’ve had no time for the big interior decorating plans I have.

My life is very full lately. Too full. Being a single mom…working full time…trying to keep the house organized…spending time and energy on friends…getting back into running… blogging….finding time for me and the things that I’m processing….

I just feel like I’m doing a half-assed job at everything. I’m distracted at work. I’m distracted at home. My apartment is a mess. The laundry is piled up. I don’t keep in touch with my friends like I should. I don’t get to run as much as I would like. My blogging has been sub-par. I have a book that I started reading a month ago that I haven’t really had time to pick up. I don’t get to spend as much time with the girls that I would like.

I was doing fairly well when I was working for several weeks at a time, and then had a week or two (sometimes more) to play catch-up in terms of my home. I would use those weeks of being unemployed to get the house back in order, spend some more quality time with the girls and catch up with friends. I’ve been working steadily since January (which is a very, VERY good thing financially for me, but very, VERY bad in terms of the whole rest of my life. I feel like I’m spread too thin, and at this point I’m just not sure what to do to make it better.

What about the rest of you full time working single parents? How do you balance it all – work, family, home, friends and self? Is there something that I’m not seeing here?

7 Responses

  1. Sunshine, thanks for the words of encouragement you posted on my blog. I have a hard time managing everything too. I have a pretty strict routine that I stick to and that helps. It is hard! *Hugs* back at you.

  2. Nah, the rest of us do it half-ass too! 🙂

    Seriously, I’ve been feeling extremely overwhelmed lately myself. It also doesn’t help to have a boyfriend who lives 3 hours away. When he’s here, I don’t want to do any cleaning or chores. When I’m there, obviously I’m not doing it either. And lately we’ve both been so busy with our own hobbies that we’re seeing each other less. This weekend will be three weeks since our last visit. We’ll see each other the following weekend as well, then we’ll go an entire month before seeing each other again… *sigh*

    So yeah, I get this. I also know that I have to continue to do the things that make me happy outside of my relationship with him.

    Balance… yeah, I want some of that too.

    • Yeah, I didn’t even get into the whole LDR thing…because, like you, I get nothing done when he’s here, and obviously nothing done when I’m there, either.

      If we lived in the same city I think there would be a lot more balance to be had, because then I’ve had another adult around to help with the girls, the chores, or whatever. But you know what? I don’t want to have to rely on someone else to provide me with balance in my life. That’s something that I want to find all on my own.

      It’s really, really tough.

      • And besides that, if we lived in the same city, we’d spend more time together spread out over more days! As it is now, time has to stand still when we’re with our guys. If they were around more, I wouldn’t feel so guilty about wanting to go out on a bike ride on a weekend or staying home on a Sunday to do chores. Because most likely, we would spend Tuesday night watching movies… or Thursday night doing laundry together… or Friday night gazing at the stars…


        Its a damn good thing they’re worth it, right? 😉

  3. I have a daily routine. I don’t always do it to a tee, but the more I stick to it, the easier my life is. It is hard when you are a single working parent. That is for sure!

  4. I’m a single mom to one, unemployed so am home all the time, I don’t jog, but need to start exercising again, I don’t have a social life so spending time with friends is limited…and somehow…I’m overwhelmed most of the time, my house is STILL a disaster and I feel spread too thin, also. I think its the single parent thing. It pretty much just sucks the life out of, well… life. But brings so much joy at the same time. Balance. What’s that? :o)

  5. Personally, I think we have to have priorities, and we have to accept that something isn’t going to get done. For me that means that social interactions are what goes.

    I always feel like I’m doing things half assed. I always feel like there are better ways or more efficient ways for me to get everything done.

    Depending on the week something just plain old doesn’t get done. Might be exercise, might be housework, might be movie night with the kids… I just try to make sure it’s not the same thing each week so eventually everything gets some attention.

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