Words of Wisdom from my Six-Year-Old

This past Friday, my girls and I were getting ready for the day together. CBG was in town, and as usual, I was spending just a little more time on my hair and make up than I normally do. I mean, after all, I only see him every two weeks…gotta look good when we are together, right?

At one point Kiddo, my six year old, looked at me said, “Mommy, why are you spending all this time looking all fancy when you’re not even going to work today? You know what? I think you look better when you don’t wear make and just leave your hair normal. It’s your natural beauty. Make up just covers up your natural beauty, Mommy.”

I went on to explain to her that I wear make up because it’s something that I like to do for me, even though a voice in the back of my head declared me a, “Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!!!”

I’m a hyprocrite, I know. I tell my girls all the time how beautiful and lovely they are…just the way they are. And I don’t afford myself that same assessment. I was that girl in high school who couldn’t get a date to save my life, and ended up dating with a boy who didn’t really treat me all that great, because at 17, any boyfriend was better than no boyfriend. I’ve struggled with weight and body image issues for the majority of my adult life. At almost 36, I’m learning how to be truly comfortable in my own skin. It still takes work…some days, more than others.

How do I keep sending the message to my girls that they’re beautiful just the way they are, when I don’t believe always that about myself?

5 Responses

  1. Your little girl is absolutely correct.
    When you interact with her regarding what she said, if you just give her an answer to explain what you are doing without really believing in what you are saying, you are setting an example for her to do the same, which is to lie, just so you can go ahead and get ready.

    Stop! think it through. Tell her the truth, and very Importantly, TELL YOURSELF THE TRUTH.

    The honest truth, is that the way you look naturally cannot be topped. And sure you may use make up to cover and make the skin look more smooth, however what it does really is to damage the skin. skin does not need make up your eyes do not need any make up. Being yourself, gives the other person a real look at you and it is refreshing for the person to see YOU, and also be able to think of you as a human being, and men are much more able to interact with you, when you do not have make up on, because they don’t have to worry about it smearing.

    about looking good, I would suggest thinking about the situation as BEING Healthy which translates automatically to BEING BEAUTIFUL, rather than JUST LOOKING BEAUTIFUL.

    Being beautiful, also looks beautiful.

    anyway thanks for sharing. by the way, if you take time to think through your conversations with your daughter, and correct yourself, meaning go back and agree with her once you thought what she said is correct, it will show her how to be. from now on, if you show her by example, that it is important to think about what you are saying to others, and having the intelligence to correct one’s actions even midway, if you show her then you are showing her by example how to live her life. telling her these by words is also good. In this way she will by pass many obstacles, and by pass many troubles because she will think beforehand. 🙂

    but you may have known much of this beforehand, so excuse me for going on a bit on this.. 🙂 by for now

  2. It’s hard to accept yourself. I have problems with body image now.. but honestly, I had a much harder time when I was younger. The older I get, th easier it is to feel comfortable in my skin. Last summer was the first summer I’ve worn a bikini since I was 22 years old… Funny that now that I’ve birthed two chldren and breastfed for almost three years n total… NOW I feel comfortable wearing a bikini… because I obsess a bit less, I guess.

  3. Wow, I can’t believe your six year old said that. What a wise soul…and good parenting on your part. I still don’t feel comfortable in my own skin, at 37. Total body image issues. Working on it though. -Pip

  4. I prefer women who don’t wear make-up. Girlfriends love me for that reason alone 🙂

  5. WOW… very good lesson huh? They are our TRUE teachers, aren’t they?

    And getting ‘fancied up’ is for you. It makes you feel sexier and prettier and more attractive. It doesn’t define your beauty, it simply enhances it.

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