Love Lessons with my Six Year Old

I knew it would happen sooner or later but honestly I didn’t expect it yet.

My six year old is, in her words, in love.

And what’s worse? It would appear that her affections are returned.

Ohboy.

She started talking about this boy, who I’ll call “The Imp” a couple of months ago. She’d heard through the first grade grapevine that he had a crush on her. At the time she had her eye on a different boy, and felt that The Imp was more friendship material. She did comment, though, that “he’s a good man”.

Well, something happened over the Christmas holidays because she’s decided to give up on Boy #1 and make the most of things with The Imp. She reports to me that they play together at recess at lunch, and even sit next to one another in the lunch room.

We all know what that means in Grade One speak – this thing is serious, people.

Yesterday I had a lunch date with kiddo. As we were walking to a nearby coffee shop together, I asked her how things were going with The Imp today.

She paused. “Well, he’s gone down a notch, I think.”

I was surprised to hear this, because as of yesterday, she was totally swooning over this boy. “What’s up?” I asked her.

“Well, I’m not sure. When I asked him if he wanted to play at recess, he said no. When I asked him if something was wrong, he told me not to worry about it, that it wasn’t me. He might not like me anymore.”

I knew that I was being presented with an opportunity to teach my daughter something meaningful about life and love. I snatched it up quickly.

“Well you know, honey…sometimes people just have bad moods, and it doesn’t have anything to do with you. Just because he’s in a bit of a bad mood doesn’t mean that it’s your fault, or that you have to do anything about it. Sometimes people just feel a little ‘off’ sometimes. Give him some space and see if he comes around. If he said that it wasn’t about you, then you should believe what he says.”

There was a thoughtful pause as I watched her taking that in. She slid her hand into mine and we continued on to the coffee shop.

(How I wish that I’d had someone to help me get through my early forays into the love territory. Not that I’m saying that I’ll have all the answers for my girls, but I’d like to hope that they will benefit, at least a little bit, from my experience.)

After our lunch date we walked back to the playground. Kiddo asked me if I could stay there with her until the bell rang to go in, as I often do after our dates. I saw two little boys looking over at us from across the playground. “That’s [The Imp].” Kiddo told me, indicating the boy on the right.

He came running over. “Do you want to play with me?” He asked.

Kiddo’s face lit up. She looked over at me. I nodded. A quick hug and she was running off across the playground.

Guess his “off” mood that morning had nothing to do with her after all. Score one for the mama.

12 Responses

  1. Great coaching! I’m with you … I wish I had someone like you to guide me when I was younger … Come to think of it, wouldn’t be a bad idea even now. LOL!

  2. My 9 yo is almost 10 and there is more talk of boys in our conversation. At this point it’s mostly her friends who like this boy or that boy and my daughter finds it all interesting and funny. For me all this talk terrifies me because I know that right around the corner she will experience her first heartbreak and that knowledge breaks my heart. I don’t know what I’ll do when it happens but I will hold her when she’s crying.

    • It’s a tough thing to accept, but heartbreak is a part of life, I guess. I’m terrified of the day that this happens, too, but it’s just more opportunity for us to teach our kids how to be healthy in their outlook and their relationships.

  3. I love this. What a great way to help her through!

    So cute. Love is a fickle thing anyway!

  4. Good for you for listening to her and not giving a pat answer like “boys will be boys”. (even if it’s true. Haha) Six year olds in love – I love it.

  5. That is too cute. Can I call you for advice when I need it? Great job Sunshine. 😉

  6. Good going momma! As always, mom is always right.:)

  7. Boys. Pains in the butt from childhood on.

  8. AW! I LOVE this!

    Hey, this is good advice for me and you both, isn’t it?

    😉

    • When stuff like this comes up with my kids, I often stop and ask myself what *I* would want someone to tell *me*. Too bad I can’t remember this when I’m going through “love stuff”.

      heh.

  9. […] Never Change Posted on January 29, 2010 by mommasunshine I’ve mentioned before that my six year old, Kiddo, is in love. Big […]

  10. […] yeah. Kiddo got dumped by “The Imp” yesterday. We were walking home together last night and she said, “Well…[The Imp] […]

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