New Year’s Eve was spent with Kiddo, Little Mo, CBG and Rugrat. We had movies, board games, pizza and rice krispie squares to fill the evening. The girls and I even got all “girlie” for a little while and painted our nails together. Despite our harassment, CBG wouldn’t join in, not even his toenails.
All five us were well in bed by midnight, although Rugrat told us later that she was still awake when midnight hit. I can’t say the same for CBG and I. When the rest of the city was ringing in the new year, I was sleeping peacefully in my man’s arms. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
The whole weekend went really, really well. So well, in fact, that CBG and I kept kinda holding our breath a little bit, waiting for something to go wrong. With the exception of a couple of incidents of major ‘tude from Rugrat, I’d say that I couldn’t have wanted it to be any different. Rugrat got along great with my girls, who loved having an older girl around to play with.
I thought back to a year ago, when CBG met my girls for the very first time. I remember feeling strangely empty at the time, partly because we clearly didn’t feel like a family.
That family feeling doesn’t just happen right out of the gate, now does it? That was something that I failed to see back then.
But this weekend, as I looked around at CBG laughing with our three girls, I realized that we very much felt just like a family. We are finding our groove. We are starting to fit together. CBG is coming to love my girls, and I know they feel the same way. I think that Rugrat is pretty awesome, too. We have our own unique “family feeling”. Something different than perhaps I’d pictured a year ago….but better than I ever dreamed it would be.
One thing that really impresses me so much is how welcoming CBG’s parents have been to the girls and I. I’m sure that this is a little weird for them…people who come from a generation where couples stayed together pretty much no matter what. They have gone above and beyond anything that would be expected from step-grandparents. They bring a family feeling all their own.
It’s funny. I realized that sometimes I am so focused on what I don’t have, that I fail to see what I do. And on top of that, often what I do have is better than anything I’ve ever imagined for myself anyhow. I’ve decided that what I really need to work on is having more faith in what The Universe provides me with. I need to gratefully accept what I am given in this life. Because really? It’s pretty freakin’ fantastic.